When I talk to people, the first thing that always reaches me are their gestures, the way they move their hands, their eyes and their body language in general even before I hear what they say..maybe just me?
I don't think so - there are a lot of people that fall into my category.Those of us who notice probably...
Don't you know people who laugh with their hands covering their mouths? haven't you shared a table with people who drum on the dining table? chatted with people who shift from one leg to another, throw their heads back while laughing, smile while they type e-mails, shake hands at every word you say, stand very close to you while talking, interject their conversation with nervous laughter, mask their sentences with false confidence by talking very loudly....so many ways...
Picking up from a wiki - the following caught my attention:
Per formal definition, is a term for communication using body movements or gestures instead of, or in addition to, sounds, verbal language or other communication. It forms part of the category of para language, which describes all forms of human communication that are not verbal language. This includes the most subtle of movements that many people are not aware of, including winking and slight movement of the eyebrows. In addition body language can also incorporate the use of other facial expressions.
-One of the most basic and powerful body-language signals is when a person crosses his or her arms across the chest. This can indicate that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. It can also indicate that the person's arms are cold which would be clarified by rubbing the arms or huddling. When the overall situation is amicable, it can mean that a person is thinking deeply about what is being discussed. But in a serious or confrontational situation, it can mean that a person is expressing opposition. This is especially so if the person is leaning away from the speaker. A harsh or blank facial expression often indicates outright hostility. Such a person is not an ally, and may be considering contentious tactics.
-Consistent eye contact can indicate that a person is thinking positively of what the speaker is saying. It can also mean that the other person doesn't trust the speaker enough to "take his eyes off" the speaker. Lack of eye contact can indicate negativity. On the other hand, individuals with anxiety disorders are often unable to make eye contact without discomfort. Eye contact is often a secondary and misleading gesture because we are taught from an early age to make eye contact when speaking. If a person is looking at you but is making the arms-across-chest signal, the eye contact could be indicative that something is bothering the person, and that he wants to talk about it. Or if while making direct eye contact a person is fiddling with something, even while directly looking at you, it could indicate the attention is elsewhere.
-Disbelief is often indicated by averted gaze, or by touching the ear or scratching the chin. When a person is not being convinced by what someone is saying, the attention invariably wanders, and the eyes will stare away for an extended period.
-Boredom is indicated by the head tilting to one side, or by the eyes looking straight at the speaker but becoming slightly unfocused.
-Interest can be indicated through posture or extended eye contact.
-Deceit or the act of withholding information can sometimes be indicated by constantly touching the face during conversation/ covering the mouth while talking.
There is so much more to this topic - I'll write a series on it probably :-)
So, the next time you meet a person, eat, or talk - observe the various patterns...it is pretty fascinating.
Better still, look within yourself and see what you are conveying to the world!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The Burn
Last afternoon when I returned, I drove past the very person - the person who threw me and my family off a curve and now walks on the face of this earth with a false face of innocence. A look of contentment drawn from the satisfaction of belittling another human.
I did not even meet his eyes - because I still cannot accept anything else but the fact that at one time what I had seen in those very eyes was innocence and truth. And, I had trusted it...I don't want to believe the image I see today.
He has changed me and my family - changed our sentiments, our relationship and turned us into people who can never trust another human...
He has recently lost his father - we were all very sad on hearing the same. And, I had hoped that somewhere the right values in him would emerge to the forefront, and make him more human...But...
I wish that some day he has the moral courage and the dignity to come up to me and apologize for what he has to done to me and my life.
I hope one day he will realize the damage he has done...and that just by running away, the situation does not correct itself nor will become the right thing...
Till then...I'll burn in that very anger...the anger and the helplessness to do anything I can to hurt him back. I know exactly what I can, and how I can break the whole thing down...but I won't, simply because I don't want to be him...
I did not even meet his eyes - because I still cannot accept anything else but the fact that at one time what I had seen in those very eyes was innocence and truth. And, I had trusted it...I don't want to believe the image I see today.
He has changed me and my family - changed our sentiments, our relationship and turned us into people who can never trust another human...
He has recently lost his father - we were all very sad on hearing the same. And, I had hoped that somewhere the right values in him would emerge to the forefront, and make him more human...But...
I wish that some day he has the moral courage and the dignity to come up to me and apologize for what he has to done to me and my life.
I hope one day he will realize the damage he has done...and that just by running away, the situation does not correct itself nor will become the right thing...
Till then...I'll burn in that very anger...the anger and the helplessness to do anything I can to hurt him back. I know exactly what I can, and how I can break the whole thing down...but I won't, simply because I don't want to be him...
Thursday, October 9, 2008
GPS For Life?
What are people expected to do when they lose their way in Life?
People on the roads use maps
People who hike use a compass
People on the sea are guided by the winds
What do I do?
Why don't they make a GPS for Life?
Maybe there is one already that exists in some form - maybe I just don't see it....
People on the roads use maps
People who hike use a compass
People on the sea are guided by the winds
What do I do?
Why don't they make a GPS for Life?
Maybe there is one already that exists in some form - maybe I just don't see it....
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
It's All About The Time Frame
As I drove back home today - happy at some things that had crossed my life - I missed those friends I knew last year at this time. I missed sharing that happiness and sharing the laughter...
Those were some innocent moments - I so truly wish that they had stayed innocent before being corrupted by the world!
Time had changed and so had everything else..
People, friends, relationships - seem to swing to the moods of time!
I met a good buddy yesterday to catch up and while we chatted, found out how hollow she had become from the last time I met her! I was shaken up by how time had treated her.. I missed seeing her carefree, happy smile! Her life had changed. So much gone by in just a few months - gone were those dimpled smiles...
The changes brought by time seem to mock in our faces when they are positive...
Just the last week,I talked to a friend who recently lost her dear father...all she wanted was for time to turn back. A time where she could pick up the phone and call her father.A time when he would call to wish on her birthday, on festivals and on any other special occasion...
Does time touch even relationships we perceive can remain untouched? Are these out of bounds? Wrong. It does - it reaches everywhere.
I heard about our friends, a couple who had fought against all odds to get married, and were now going through separation - we went to their anniversary party just the last year around this time...how time had changed everything.
Does it end there? No.
My little one has been pestering me for a game for the last 3 months. And I had held it back so that I could bribe her when I needed to. Since her birthday is round the corner, I told her yesterday that I would be buying it for her as a birthday present. And pat came the reply - "Mumma, I'm too big for her. It's a baby game. I don't want it anymore".She didn't need it anymore. Gone was her need for it. I had held it back and had rendered it useless. Time had changed it's value...
I realized that even the most precious object, the same cause - you thought meant everything to you or the same person who was so important for you, have a limited meaning.
I also realized that they lose their meaning and the very essence of their importance when brought out of that time frame which eventually brings with it a context.
Thinking about it, everything time touches may not be in the negative sense - there's some positive too.A year ago,I didn't have the time to eat my meal peacefully...I was so busy with so many things that took precedence at that time. Music didn't mean much. But, today my world has changed. My music is my life. I live and breathe it! And it puts a smile on my face - and that is not a bad thing!
Again, like I always said - we need to appreciate and enjoy the moment while it lasts. This as I infer is the truth, as the very thing(s) may not mean the same in a different time frame....
Enjoy your time while you live in it.
Sending positive thoughts your way...
Those were some innocent moments - I so truly wish that they had stayed innocent before being corrupted by the world!
Time had changed and so had everything else..
People, friends, relationships - seem to swing to the moods of time!
I met a good buddy yesterday to catch up and while we chatted, found out how hollow she had become from the last time I met her! I was shaken up by how time had treated her.. I missed seeing her carefree, happy smile! Her life had changed. So much gone by in just a few months - gone were those dimpled smiles...
The changes brought by time seem to mock in our faces when they are positive...
Just the last week,I talked to a friend who recently lost her dear father...all she wanted was for time to turn back. A time where she could pick up the phone and call her father.A time when he would call to wish on her birthday, on festivals and on any other special occasion...
Does time touch even relationships we perceive can remain untouched? Are these out of bounds? Wrong. It does - it reaches everywhere.
I heard about our friends, a couple who had fought against all odds to get married, and were now going through separation - we went to their anniversary party just the last year around this time...how time had changed everything.
Does it end there? No.
My little one has been pestering me for a game for the last 3 months. And I had held it back so that I could bribe her when I needed to. Since her birthday is round the corner, I told her yesterday that I would be buying it for her as a birthday present. And pat came the reply - "Mumma, I'm too big for her. It's a baby game. I don't want it anymore".She didn't need it anymore. Gone was her need for it. I had held it back and had rendered it useless. Time had changed it's value...
I realized that even the most precious object, the same cause - you thought meant everything to you or the same person who was so important for you, have a limited meaning.
I also realized that they lose their meaning and the very essence of their importance when brought out of that time frame which eventually brings with it a context.
Thinking about it, everything time touches may not be in the negative sense - there's some positive too.A year ago,I didn't have the time to eat my meal peacefully...I was so busy with so many things that took precedence at that time. Music didn't mean much. But, today my world has changed. My music is my life. I live and breathe it! And it puts a smile on my face - and that is not a bad thing!
Again, like I always said - we need to appreciate and enjoy the moment while it lasts. This as I infer is the truth, as the very thing(s) may not mean the same in a different time frame....
Enjoy your time while you live in it.
Sending positive thoughts your way...
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
When Innocence Triumphs
Two weekends ago, I was involved neck deep along with my little one where she participated in a live ballet - hosted by her 'Bharatanatyam' teacher. The live ballet was about the great epic 'Ramayanam' set to music and danced to perfection by renowned artists and little angels alike.
It was a fantastic performance. All involved had put in their heart and soul into the performance.
Me, my little one and 49 other children sat there for about four hours in the last seats of the theatre, silently waiting for our turn. Every now and then a child would prance up and down to stretch her little legs, she would then giggle with a friend, hug her mommy or stand there with her hands on hips -unable to express how tired she was or how impatient to perform her tiny act.
Snacks, trips to the rest room, drinks of water and after all the tantrums, I had to lead the children to the green room behind the screens. There we sat again for about an hour. Hot, sweaty, and silent. The little ones waited - unable to move, talk or giggle. My heart went out to them - just for hanging in there.
At last - it was our turn. When the little 'Vanara Sainyam' was needed to go on stage! Off they went...bouncing, jumping, and rolling on...not one, not two, but fifty of them!
The brown little monkeys - smiling from ear to ear! All ready to perform and all ready to please!
They formed the bridge and as soon as Lord 'Shree Rama' entered, began the chant of 'Jai Raam ...Jai Jai Raam"...so melodiously and so innocently. The huge hall echoed with their chant! The happiness they felt seemed to reflect every bit on their angelic little faces. Were these our children or really little monkeys of the monkey army, transported into the great epic in time and space...I wondered.
The glee, the joy, the reverance...just came together...
I stood their with tears in my eyes behind the curtains thinking...this was innocence. Every bit of it....after hours and hours of waiting, tired and hungry - after hours of putting up with all sorts of inconveniences...here were these tiny beings...doing and acting just the way they were taught.
Giving all they had into their performance and enjoying what they did - all so that their teachers, friends and parents would be pleased! Just like tiny little animals...so eager to please their masters...
If this was our innate nature, our true human self...where and how do we transition into the people we end up being - why do we move away from this innocence and shun it?
The sweaty, shiny, happy little faces had taught me something...
I was truly touched...
It was a fantastic performance. All involved had put in their heart and soul into the performance.
Me, my little one and 49 other children sat there for about four hours in the last seats of the theatre, silently waiting for our turn. Every now and then a child would prance up and down to stretch her little legs, she would then giggle with a friend, hug her mommy or stand there with her hands on hips -unable to express how tired she was or how impatient to perform her tiny act.
Snacks, trips to the rest room, drinks of water and after all the tantrums, I had to lead the children to the green room behind the screens. There we sat again for about an hour. Hot, sweaty, and silent. The little ones waited - unable to move, talk or giggle. My heart went out to them - just for hanging in there.
At last - it was our turn. When the little 'Vanara Sainyam' was needed to go on stage! Off they went...bouncing, jumping, and rolling on...not one, not two, but fifty of them!
The brown little monkeys - smiling from ear to ear! All ready to perform and all ready to please!
They formed the bridge and as soon as Lord 'Shree Rama' entered, began the chant of 'Jai Raam ...Jai Jai Raam"...so melodiously and so innocently. The huge hall echoed with their chant! The happiness they felt seemed to reflect every bit on their angelic little faces. Were these our children or really little monkeys of the monkey army, transported into the great epic in time and space...I wondered.
The glee, the joy, the reverance...just came together...
I stood their with tears in my eyes behind the curtains thinking...this was innocence. Every bit of it....after hours and hours of waiting, tired and hungry - after hours of putting up with all sorts of inconveniences...here were these tiny beings...doing and acting just the way they were taught.
Giving all they had into their performance and enjoying what they did - all so that their teachers, friends and parents would be pleased! Just like tiny little animals...so eager to please their masters...
If this was our innate nature, our true human self...where and how do we transition into the people we end up being - why do we move away from this innocence and shun it?
The sweaty, shiny, happy little faces had taught me something...
I was truly touched...
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
All That Passes By
The moon tortured me again this evening.
Every single time I see the beautiful moonlight, I have a million emotions that surge up in me.
I almost picked up the phone - to call him and tell him to look at the moon. To tell him that I wish he were here - but, I didn't. I couldn't. I wish I could. Something in me stopped me.
No idea what came in between. Distance of the minds or the distance of where we had moved to. Which was greater? I didn't have an answer.
In the end, I stood all by myself on the patio and watched the most picturisque moon as it bathed everything in my view with it's beauty.
A friend of mine lost her father in the month of June. She was someone who adored her dad, and would call him up on every single pretext - advise, kids issues, office squabbles, and whatever else happened in her day to day life.
But the last she spoke to him, she had a fight. He had sent her a lot of eatables from her home town along with her sister who was visiting her. And, she picked up the phone and told him that he shouldn't have since she was moving back to India anyway in a few days. And when I met her a month ago, she cried saying "I should have thanked him for thinking of me - instead, I screamed at him?
And that was the last she spoke to him. It will haunt her always that she could have done it differently.
How many of us do things that we could have done differently? If we ever imagine that this will be the last day of our lives, and the last time we will ever meet or talk to that person, will we not do things differently?
I think I would. Just like the way I would have loved to be with him and talk to him. Just like the times when he would talk to me endlessly with a smile on his face - those whispers that meant nothing at all...
I wish I had done things differently. I wish I had not wasted my precious time doing things I didn't have to, I wish I had the power to unwind and just do it right for once.
Every morning when you wake up, think of things you could do differently like the way you would want to when you think back a few years later - and who knows you may never have a second chance at it...
Regret has no place in the future...it is now and here...
Every single time I see the beautiful moonlight, I have a million emotions that surge up in me.
I almost picked up the phone - to call him and tell him to look at the moon. To tell him that I wish he were here - but, I didn't. I couldn't. I wish I could. Something in me stopped me.
No idea what came in between. Distance of the minds or the distance of where we had moved to. Which was greater? I didn't have an answer.
In the end, I stood all by myself on the patio and watched the most picturisque moon as it bathed everything in my view with it's beauty.
A friend of mine lost her father in the month of June. She was someone who adored her dad, and would call him up on every single pretext - advise, kids issues, office squabbles, and whatever else happened in her day to day life.
But the last she spoke to him, she had a fight. He had sent her a lot of eatables from her home town along with her sister who was visiting her. And, she picked up the phone and told him that he shouldn't have since she was moving back to India anyway in a few days. And when I met her a month ago, she cried saying "I should have thanked him for thinking of me - instead, I screamed at him?
And that was the last she spoke to him. It will haunt her always that she could have done it differently.
How many of us do things that we could have done differently? If we ever imagine that this will be the last day of our lives, and the last time we will ever meet or talk to that person, will we not do things differently?
I think I would. Just like the way I would have loved to be with him and talk to him. Just like the times when he would talk to me endlessly with a smile on his face - those whispers that meant nothing at all...
I wish I had done things differently. I wish I had not wasted my precious time doing things I didn't have to, I wish I had the power to unwind and just do it right for once.
Every morning when you wake up, think of things you could do differently like the way you would want to when you think back a few years later - and who knows you may never have a second chance at it...
Regret has no place in the future...it is now and here...
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Mahashasura Mardini - The Life Force in Every Woman
When the evil is defeated by the goodness..
The 'Rakshashas' ran and hid in the depths of the 'Pathala' and tried in vain to hide in the darkest of the corners - thinking they would never be found...
But, the 'Adi Shakti' hunted them down and leveled the bad with the good...history, mythology wherever one wants to search...there is always justice that was done in the end.
Time has been witness and will continue to wait and watch as this continues even in the 'Kaliyuga' - where the new world 'Rakshashas' will be punished for their wrong doings - by the very same 'Adi Shakti' and 'Maha Shakti'in one form or the other. Who knows?
There is also enough evidence in our mythology or history that a woman is capable of making or completely destroying everything that has done her wrong...like they say every woman is an incarnation of the very same 'Adi Shakti'
Listen to this beautiful chanting:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiq6MddfBM4&NR=1
The same is depicted in a dance form:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQHryzwcndw&feature=related
The word Shakti, meaning sacred feminine force, and Durga reflects the warrior aspect of the goddess, embodying a traditional male role. She is also strikingly beautiful, and initially Mahishasura tries to marry her! Other incarnations include Annapurna and Karunamayi (karuna = kindness).
The Great Goddess Durga is said to be exquisitely beautiful. Her form is blindingly bright (devi), with three lotus-like eyes, ten powerful hands, lush hair with beautiful curls, a red-golden glow from her skin and a quarter moon on her forehead. She wears a shiny oceanic blue attire emitting fierce rays. Her ornaments were carved beautifully of gold, with ocean pearls and precious stones embedded in it. Each god also gave her their own most powerful weapons, Rudra's trident, Vishnu's discus, Indra's thunderbolt, Brahma's kamandalu, Kuber's gada, etc. Himalayas gifted her a fierce whitish golden lion.
According to the narrative from the Devi Mahatmya of the Markandeya Purana, the form of Durga was created as a warrior goddess to fight a demon. The demon's father Rambha, king of the demons, once fell in love with a water buffalo, and Mahish Asur (the demon Mahish) was born out of this union. He is therefore able to change between human and buffalo form at will (mahish means "buffalo"). Through intense prayers to Brahma, Mahishasur had the boon that he could not be defeated by any man or god. He unleashed a reign of terror on earth, heaven and the nether worlds.
Eventually, since only a woman could kill him, the Holy Male Trinity went down to the river Ganges and prayed the mantra, "Om Namo Devaye", imploring of the great goddess Devi to save their realm from ruin. They were blessed with her compassion when the goddess Durga was born out of the river.
The 'Rakshashas' ran and hid in the depths of the 'Pathala' and tried in vain to hide in the darkest of the corners - thinking they would never be found...
But, the 'Adi Shakti' hunted them down and leveled the bad with the good...history, mythology wherever one wants to search...there is always justice that was done in the end.
Time has been witness and will continue to wait and watch as this continues even in the 'Kaliyuga' - where the new world 'Rakshashas' will be punished for their wrong doings - by the very same 'Adi Shakti' and 'Maha Shakti'in one form or the other. Who knows?
There is also enough evidence in our mythology or history that a woman is capable of making or completely destroying everything that has done her wrong...like they say every woman is an incarnation of the very same 'Adi Shakti'
Listen to this beautiful chanting:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiq6MddfBM4&NR=1
The same is depicted in a dance form:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQHryzwcndw&feature=related
The word Shakti, meaning sacred feminine force, and Durga reflects the warrior aspect of the goddess, embodying a traditional male role. She is also strikingly beautiful, and initially Mahishasura tries to marry her! Other incarnations include Annapurna and Karunamayi (karuna = kindness).
The Great Goddess Durga is said to be exquisitely beautiful. Her form is blindingly bright (devi), with three lotus-like eyes, ten powerful hands, lush hair with beautiful curls, a red-golden glow from her skin and a quarter moon on her forehead. She wears a shiny oceanic blue attire emitting fierce rays. Her ornaments were carved beautifully of gold, with ocean pearls and precious stones embedded in it. Each god also gave her their own most powerful weapons, Rudra's trident, Vishnu's discus, Indra's thunderbolt, Brahma's kamandalu, Kuber's gada, etc. Himalayas gifted her a fierce whitish golden lion.
According to the narrative from the Devi Mahatmya of the Markandeya Purana, the form of Durga was created as a warrior goddess to fight a demon. The demon's father Rambha, king of the demons, once fell in love with a water buffalo, and Mahish Asur (the demon Mahish) was born out of this union. He is therefore able to change between human and buffalo form at will (mahish means "buffalo"). Through intense prayers to Brahma, Mahishasur had the boon that he could not be defeated by any man or god. He unleashed a reign of terror on earth, heaven and the nether worlds.
Eventually, since only a woman could kill him, the Holy Male Trinity went down to the river Ganges and prayed the mantra, "Om Namo Devaye", imploring of the great goddess Devi to save their realm from ruin. They were blessed with her compassion when the goddess Durga was born out of the river.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Fear And Pleasure
I'm a big fan of Jiddu Krishnamurthi's philosophy - he was an institute in himself.I've been amazed and enamoured by the depth of his thoughts.
Fear and pleasure were lifelong themes in his public talks.He so simply puts in words how fear and pleasure are two sides of the same coin - how the fear of losing the once tasted pleasure breeds more fear.
So beautifully said - read on...
The following is an excerpt from his talk in San Diego in 1970.
“Fear is always in relation to something; it does not exist by itself. There is fear of what happened yesterday in relation to the possibility of its repetition tomorrow; there is always a fixed point from which relationship takes place. How does fear come into this? I had pain yesterday; there is the memory of it and I do not want it again tomorrow. Thinking about the pain of yesterday, thinking which involves the memory of yesterday’s pain, projects the fear of having pain again tomorrow. So it is thought that brings about fear. Thought breeds fear; thought also cultivates pleasure. To understand fear you must also understand pleasure – they are interrelated; without understanding one you cannot understand the other. This means that one cannot say ‘I must only have pleasure and no fear’; fear is the other side of the coin which is called pleasure.
Thinking with the images of yesterday’s pleasure, thought imagines that you may not have that pleasure tomorrow; so thought engenders fear. Thought tries to sustain pleasure and thereby nourishes fear.
Thought has separated itself as the analyzer and the thing to be analyzed; they are both parts of thought playing tricks upon itself. In doing all this it is refusing to examine the unconscious fears; it brings in time as a means of escaping fear and yet at the same time sustains fear.”
Fear and pleasure were lifelong themes in his public talks.He so simply puts in words how fear and pleasure are two sides of the same coin - how the fear of losing the once tasted pleasure breeds more fear.
So beautifully said - read on...
The following is an excerpt from his talk in San Diego in 1970.
“Fear is always in relation to something; it does not exist by itself. There is fear of what happened yesterday in relation to the possibility of its repetition tomorrow; there is always a fixed point from which relationship takes place. How does fear come into this? I had pain yesterday; there is the memory of it and I do not want it again tomorrow. Thinking about the pain of yesterday, thinking which involves the memory of yesterday’s pain, projects the fear of having pain again tomorrow. So it is thought that brings about fear. Thought breeds fear; thought also cultivates pleasure. To understand fear you must also understand pleasure – they are interrelated; without understanding one you cannot understand the other. This means that one cannot say ‘I must only have pleasure and no fear’; fear is the other side of the coin which is called pleasure.
Thinking with the images of yesterday’s pleasure, thought imagines that you may not have that pleasure tomorrow; so thought engenders fear. Thought tries to sustain pleasure and thereby nourishes fear.
Thought has separated itself as the analyzer and the thing to be analyzed; they are both parts of thought playing tricks upon itself. In doing all this it is refusing to examine the unconscious fears; it brings in time as a means of escaping fear and yet at the same time sustains fear.”
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