Day after day
Night after night
as I brave all that life throws at me...
Week after week
Month after month
as I survive just for that moment...
The insults I bear
The hostility I survive
When all that one gets is ridiculed
When all I look forward to is a good word
The moment that is pivotal to this existence
comes and seems to standstill
A moment shrouded in silence
A moment where I pick those pearls of love
A moment where I shed those thorns that have pierced my flesh
A moment where I look for those little words that give me the strength
My heart questions me then
What do I mean to you?
An empty space...
A void that exists between real and the unreal
What do I mean to you?
I know what I know from all that is unspoken...
But, I live to hear those little whispers
And I on my part will wait a lifetime
to hear...
For once let me know
What I mean to you...
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Song For the weekend
A mellow mood in sharp contrast to the hectic weekend seems to be defiantly creeping in ..
Enjoy the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvG7kBeRrJ0&feature=PlayList&p=D0DC0B207B42B43D&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=9
Enjoy the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvG7kBeRrJ0&feature=PlayList&p=D0DC0B207B42B43D&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=9
Monday, August 24, 2009
On Being Tired
An article I recently read - written by Sri Sri...
If you are not tired, you will never reach home. Only if you're tired, will you ever rest. Everything in the world will tire you. Only one thing does not tire you. That is love.
Love does not tire you because that is the end, the home. It is not possible to be tired in love.
In fact, enjoyment brings tiredness! Tiredness is a shadow of enjoyment. What puts you on the road is your desire to enjoy. What brings you home is being in love. In your life, you move from one place to another in search of enjoyment. Wherever you saw joy and reached for it, you found that it was further away, somewhere else. So you had to move on and that moving is tiring.
Look at your whole life. A child gets tired of playing with toys and wants new toys. Tired of playing with new toys, they want people to play with, they want new friends. They grow a little older. Their games change. The object of the game changes. They want something more. So it's like moving from one type of tiredness to another type of tiredness.
As a teenager you looked for something else, not toys. Which is the new movie? What is the new fashion? You want to have the best match for you. You are married. You make a very good couple. Then what? You want to have your own home, children. Those who are single think that married people are better off. Those who are married think that single people are better off.
Some think that people with children are happier. People with children wish everyday that their child grows up quickly so that they can be free. They wait for someone to give them a break, to take care of their children. Everything is tiring.
You move from one spiritual path to another spiritual path, from one practice to another. Sometimes people say, "Oh, I have meditated for 20 years. I am sick of meditation now. Please don't tell me to do another meditation. Enough is enough." It's boring. People have no time. They find it boring to meditate. What to do? Where to go? When is that rest? That solace? That peace? When is that love that is so comforting, so eternal, so blissful? And you cannot rest until you reach home.
You may sit in the path here and there but you cannot be there forever. You may take a break. On the motorway, there is some rest place. On the way, you stop your car, use the restroom, stay a while and stretch. But that is all. You cannot rest there, or be at peace there. At the back of the mind the drive is there - move on. There is no fulfillment.
It is the desire that tires you - the 'want' in the mind. Your mind tires you more than the physical work. If you are willing to do some work, even 15 hours at a stretch, it will not tire you. However if you are not willing and you have to work even for four hours, it will tire you.
You have a party at home or you are arranging Christmas decorations. So you may work many late hours but still not feel tired. You feel good about it. But you work in some place you don't like, you'd like to have four coffee or tea breaks and even then you feel it's tiring! Do not do any work at all. Just sit and go on thinking. You'll be terribly exhausted. For many people, the tiredness and exhaustion comes from thinking and worrying, not by working.
Thinking you need rest makes you restless.
Thinking you have to work hard makes you tired.
Thinking you have worked hard brings self-pity.
There is a place to rest. That is the Divine, that is surrender and that is love. And you can't do it unless you get really tired, unless you get sick of everything. You drop down. That is called surrender.
There was a king, an emperor. He attained all that he wanted to in the world, all the wealth, the whole continent was under his control. He thought that this is his world. Thousands of people were under his command, all the wealth at his disposal, all the pleasures at his beck and call. He could snap his finger and get anything he wanted. But that couldn't get him home. It made him more and more tired.
Then he went looking for some spiritual knowledge. He went from place to place, collecting things here and there, but nothing worked. Everything seemed to work for a while. Finally, he got so tired that he renounced everything. That also didn't work. Being an emperor didn't work. Renouncing everything didn't work.
One day he fell near a tree. He was exhausted of looking for, but not finding, a real master. It's not easy to find a master. Even if one finds a master, it is difficult to recognize and let go. So, he finally dropped under a tree and at that moment a dry leaf fell down from the tree.
He was looking at the leaf and that leaf flew to the east when the wind blew east and it flew to the north when the wind blew north. Looking at that, something in him suddenly snapped - the "doership" - The 'want' simply dropped from him. The very moment he realized that that moment is so eternal and he came back home.
Make life that way - become like a dry leaf - agree with what the Divine has provided for you, float with the moment. Do not regret the past, do not anticipate the future. That is what all the enlightened masters say, "Keep practicing on your own. When you feel you can't do any more, that it's all so tiring, then come and rest." That's why the places of enlightened masters are called 'ashrama', where you come and get rid of your tiredness. 'Shrama' means effort. Ashrama means the place where all the efforts loosen up. All tiredness, both mental and physical, vanishes. Even spiritual, you don't have to strive for it.
Just sit there. There is a candle, a light burning for you. You only have to sit under its light. You're lit. You don't have to do anything. It's burning for you. You only have to connect, sit there and feel the presence. Be a part of the divinity, then you will find that nothing can tire you in the world. You will become the source of love. You are the home. Things cannot irritate you.
When you are tired, small little things can irritate you, push your button, can throw you off balance. Our peace is so fragile that anything, even a phone call, can blow it off. Our peace will be in hundred pieces - just a few words from someone. Fragile peace is of no use. The peace and love in our life should be so solid, like a diamond. Nothing should shake or move it.
Desire, awareness of the Self and action all are manifestation of the same energy that is you. Among these three, one of them dominates at a time. When you have lots of desires, you are not aware of the Self. When desire dominates, self-awareness will be at its lowest, and that's why all the philosophers around the world have always advocated renunciation and dropping of desires.
When the awareness is dominant, then happiness dawns. When desire dominates, stress and sorrow result. When actions dominate, restlessness and disease is the result. When your actions and desires are sincerely directed to the Divine or to the welfare of society, then the consciousness is automatically elevated, and self-knowledge is sure to be attained.
You cannot rest when you have to do something that you cannot. And you cannot rest when you feel you have to be someone whom you are not. You are not required to do what you cannot. You will not be asked to give what you cannot give. Nothing is expected of you that you cannot do.
If you are not tired, you will never reach home. Only if you're tired, will you ever rest. Everything in the world will tire you. Only one thing does not tire you. That is love.
Love does not tire you because that is the end, the home. It is not possible to be tired in love.
In fact, enjoyment brings tiredness! Tiredness is a shadow of enjoyment. What puts you on the road is your desire to enjoy. What brings you home is being in love. In your life, you move from one place to another in search of enjoyment. Wherever you saw joy and reached for it, you found that it was further away, somewhere else. So you had to move on and that moving is tiring.
Look at your whole life. A child gets tired of playing with toys and wants new toys. Tired of playing with new toys, they want people to play with, they want new friends. They grow a little older. Their games change. The object of the game changes. They want something more. So it's like moving from one type of tiredness to another type of tiredness.
As a teenager you looked for something else, not toys. Which is the new movie? What is the new fashion? You want to have the best match for you. You are married. You make a very good couple. Then what? You want to have your own home, children. Those who are single think that married people are better off. Those who are married think that single people are better off.
Some think that people with children are happier. People with children wish everyday that their child grows up quickly so that they can be free. They wait for someone to give them a break, to take care of their children. Everything is tiring.
You move from one spiritual path to another spiritual path, from one practice to another. Sometimes people say, "Oh, I have meditated for 20 years. I am sick of meditation now. Please don't tell me to do another meditation. Enough is enough." It's boring. People have no time. They find it boring to meditate. What to do? Where to go? When is that rest? That solace? That peace? When is that love that is so comforting, so eternal, so blissful? And you cannot rest until you reach home.
You may sit in the path here and there but you cannot be there forever. You may take a break. On the motorway, there is some rest place. On the way, you stop your car, use the restroom, stay a while and stretch. But that is all. You cannot rest there, or be at peace there. At the back of the mind the drive is there - move on. There is no fulfillment.
It is the desire that tires you - the 'want' in the mind. Your mind tires you more than the physical work. If you are willing to do some work, even 15 hours at a stretch, it will not tire you. However if you are not willing and you have to work even for four hours, it will tire you.
You have a party at home or you are arranging Christmas decorations. So you may work many late hours but still not feel tired. You feel good about it. But you work in some place you don't like, you'd like to have four coffee or tea breaks and even then you feel it's tiring! Do not do any work at all. Just sit and go on thinking. You'll be terribly exhausted. For many people, the tiredness and exhaustion comes from thinking and worrying, not by working.
Thinking you need rest makes you restless.
Thinking you have to work hard makes you tired.
Thinking you have worked hard brings self-pity.
There is a place to rest. That is the Divine, that is surrender and that is love. And you can't do it unless you get really tired, unless you get sick of everything. You drop down. That is called surrender.
There was a king, an emperor. He attained all that he wanted to in the world, all the wealth, the whole continent was under his control. He thought that this is his world. Thousands of people were under his command, all the wealth at his disposal, all the pleasures at his beck and call. He could snap his finger and get anything he wanted. But that couldn't get him home. It made him more and more tired.
Then he went looking for some spiritual knowledge. He went from place to place, collecting things here and there, but nothing worked. Everything seemed to work for a while. Finally, he got so tired that he renounced everything. That also didn't work. Being an emperor didn't work. Renouncing everything didn't work.
One day he fell near a tree. He was exhausted of looking for, but not finding, a real master. It's not easy to find a master. Even if one finds a master, it is difficult to recognize and let go. So, he finally dropped under a tree and at that moment a dry leaf fell down from the tree.
He was looking at the leaf and that leaf flew to the east when the wind blew east and it flew to the north when the wind blew north. Looking at that, something in him suddenly snapped - the "doership" - The 'want' simply dropped from him. The very moment he realized that that moment is so eternal and he came back home.
Make life that way - become like a dry leaf - agree with what the Divine has provided for you, float with the moment. Do not regret the past, do not anticipate the future. That is what all the enlightened masters say, "Keep practicing on your own. When you feel you can't do any more, that it's all so tiring, then come and rest." That's why the places of enlightened masters are called 'ashrama', where you come and get rid of your tiredness. 'Shrama' means effort. Ashrama means the place where all the efforts loosen up. All tiredness, both mental and physical, vanishes. Even spiritual, you don't have to strive for it.
Just sit there. There is a candle, a light burning for you. You only have to sit under its light. You're lit. You don't have to do anything. It's burning for you. You only have to connect, sit there and feel the presence. Be a part of the divinity, then you will find that nothing can tire you in the world. You will become the source of love. You are the home. Things cannot irritate you.
When you are tired, small little things can irritate you, push your button, can throw you off balance. Our peace is so fragile that anything, even a phone call, can blow it off. Our peace will be in hundred pieces - just a few words from someone. Fragile peace is of no use. The peace and love in our life should be so solid, like a diamond. Nothing should shake or move it.
Desire, awareness of the Self and action all are manifestation of the same energy that is you. Among these three, one of them dominates at a time. When you have lots of desires, you are not aware of the Self. When desire dominates, self-awareness will be at its lowest, and that's why all the philosophers around the world have always advocated renunciation and dropping of desires.
When the awareness is dominant, then happiness dawns. When desire dominates, stress and sorrow result. When actions dominate, restlessness and disease is the result. When your actions and desires are sincerely directed to the Divine or to the welfare of society, then the consciousness is automatically elevated, and self-knowledge is sure to be attained.
You cannot rest when you have to do something that you cannot. And you cannot rest when you feel you have to be someone whom you are not. You are not required to do what you cannot. You will not be asked to give what you cannot give. Nothing is expected of you that you cannot do.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
When The Stars Align...
My mom's voice over the phone "Please pick a Muhurtham that is good for your Nakshatram (star sign)...remember to tell the Pujari (priest) to...."
A hundred phone calls and a million instructions later, I set the date to move to the new place.
My friends have been teasing me about how miserable I have been to move away from my cozy little old home.I have been having sleepless nights and wake up at 4:00 AM and sit there all by myself. It is so painful to move away from here...it is not just a house, but has been a home with a zillion memories, all of which I have tightly wrapped in my fists and have shut them tight lest they escape...
Trips to the Indian grocery store, to the American grocery stores - collecting fruits, flowers and a ton of other Indian Pooja specific tid-bits, rendered me exhausted with a terrible back ache and unable to even stand up just before the day of the pooja!
The evening before, I did all that was expected of me...string the flowers, set up everything, soak the right ingredients to make the Prasadam (offering to God) the next day etc. etc. And that night - very late in the night something happened that changed the entire plan.
Mother nature had her own way of showing me how minuscule we were in the entire bigger game plan! A simple change at one point made the entire thing collapse like a deck of cards, pieces in a game of Dominoes.
Over and out- that's it! The whole thing changed. It was almost as if my un-willingness to let go of this home was turning to a reality.
Anyway, I geared up again the next week and this time around did what my instinct told me to do. It became a simple task of signifying an event that would mark a change, a happening and a move! It turned into a moment where positive thoughts pervaded, a moment where beautiful memories presented me reasons to smile about...all of this was no where on the plan.
And not ruled by the stars!
And when those stars align the next time, I know deep in my heart that they will bring with them a million reasons that will make me want to smile, a zillion reasons that will make me want to live all over again...and an infinite other reasons that will help me make someone other than me happy! Selflessly happy!
Till then I'll gaze at those twinkling, celestial objects...night after night...
A hundred phone calls and a million instructions later, I set the date to move to the new place.
My friends have been teasing me about how miserable I have been to move away from my cozy little old home.I have been having sleepless nights and wake up at 4:00 AM and sit there all by myself. It is so painful to move away from here...it is not just a house, but has been a home with a zillion memories, all of which I have tightly wrapped in my fists and have shut them tight lest they escape...
Trips to the Indian grocery store, to the American grocery stores - collecting fruits, flowers and a ton of other Indian Pooja specific tid-bits, rendered me exhausted with a terrible back ache and unable to even stand up just before the day of the pooja!
The evening before, I did all that was expected of me...string the flowers, set up everything, soak the right ingredients to make the Prasadam (offering to God) the next day etc. etc. And that night - very late in the night something happened that changed the entire plan.
Mother nature had her own way of showing me how minuscule we were in the entire bigger game plan! A simple change at one point made the entire thing collapse like a deck of cards, pieces in a game of Dominoes.
Over and out- that's it! The whole thing changed. It was almost as if my un-willingness to let go of this home was turning to a reality.
Anyway, I geared up again the next week and this time around did what my instinct told me to do. It became a simple task of signifying an event that would mark a change, a happening and a move! It turned into a moment where positive thoughts pervaded, a moment where beautiful memories presented me reasons to smile about...all of this was no where on the plan.
And not ruled by the stars!
And when those stars align the next time, I know deep in my heart that they will bring with them a million reasons that will make me want to smile, a zillion reasons that will make me want to live all over again...and an infinite other reasons that will help me make someone other than me happy! Selflessly happy!
Till then I'll gaze at those twinkling, celestial objects...night after night...
Friday, August 7, 2009
What Rules?
We've all grown up hearing to "Do this, don't do that", "This is good, that is bad", "Don't say it this way, and do it that way" kind of rules. And I'm sure as very young kids we followed them, a few years later rebelled against them, a few more years later accepted them and so the cycle continues. They may be the same set of rules - which we accept and defy depending on various set of parameters governing that moment in time.
A very close buddy of mine is one of those people who thinks "rules? what rules?" for any given rule that crosses her path. A total rebel at that! There is another family member who thinks rules are rules and breaking them is complete blasphemy! And what do I think? I totally think every rule has an exception (too cliched perhaps!) and is so totally meant to be broken :-) I think they are made for convenience, created out of a necessity and hence can be modified for convenience - so that they serve the purpose of their existence! Aye? Nay?
I have had very heated discussions with very close friends of mine in the past - my point was always that if one believed in something and if rules were meant to be broken, then they simply had to be done. There is nothing that is right or wrong. It all lies within our perspective. It is all about how much one is willing to give..Aye? Nay? What say?
Can rules give us happiness? What use are those rules if they hurt you and those who live for you? And who made these rules in the first place? Isn't every rule an "interpretation" of sorts by you and thus rendering it a modification at some level by you?
Isn't it all about being afraid? Afraid to lose something? Then who are we calling cowards? Those that openly show it? or us who safely play the game by the rules, but would like to talk tall and heckle the cowards, who actually have the courage to be what they are out in the open? Ofcourse, they live by the rules...
It's all about being happy - so whatever works for each of us should be good! Yeah? :-) Like I always say - play the field with your own rules. There is nothing that is wrong or right.
The past is to be remembered fondly, bad happenings are meant to be purged, every hug and smile to be cherished - in the end live it in a way that makes you and those who love you happy!
Take care of yourself this weekend...you maybe precious to someone too.
This song is for you...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ViOwA3vKVY
A very close buddy of mine is one of those people who thinks "rules? what rules?" for any given rule that crosses her path. A total rebel at that! There is another family member who thinks rules are rules and breaking them is complete blasphemy! And what do I think? I totally think every rule has an exception (too cliched perhaps!) and is so totally meant to be broken :-) I think they are made for convenience, created out of a necessity and hence can be modified for convenience - so that they serve the purpose of their existence! Aye? Nay?
I have had very heated discussions with very close friends of mine in the past - my point was always that if one believed in something and if rules were meant to be broken, then they simply had to be done. There is nothing that is right or wrong. It all lies within our perspective. It is all about how much one is willing to give..Aye? Nay? What say?
Can rules give us happiness? What use are those rules if they hurt you and those who live for you? And who made these rules in the first place? Isn't every rule an "interpretation" of sorts by you and thus rendering it a modification at some level by you?
Isn't it all about being afraid? Afraid to lose something? Then who are we calling cowards? Those that openly show it? or us who safely play the game by the rules, but would like to talk tall and heckle the cowards, who actually have the courage to be what they are out in the open? Ofcourse, they live by the rules...
It's all about being happy - so whatever works for each of us should be good! Yeah? :-) Like I always say - play the field with your own rules. There is nothing that is wrong or right.
The past is to be remembered fondly, bad happenings are meant to be purged, every hug and smile to be cherished - in the end live it in a way that makes you and those who love you happy!
Take care of yourself this weekend...you maybe precious to someone too.
This song is for you...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ViOwA3vKVY
Monday, August 3, 2009
Feels Like Home - A Great Song
Ah! A song that has driven me crazy for the past three days! Cant stop humming :-) Listen on:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJjhGZwAJik
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJjhGZwAJik
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
