I looked out of the window as the train chugged along..
The moon shining brightly onto the empty stretch of fields..
the sight always mesmerized me - when the lights are off in the train compartment, and everyone is fast asleep - you sit there and look out the window. The feeling as if you are a part of that wilderness outside in the miles of fields/mountains - yet be in your own secure shell in the train...
As my thoughts raced with the train...
A song from somewhere played faintly...a song that belonged to me from another life...I closed my eyes and strained to hear...it kept fading away...
Tum Paas Aaye, Yoon Muskuraaye
Tum Paas Aaye, Yoon Muskuraaye
Tumne Na Jane Kya, Sapne Dikaaye
Tum Paas Aaye, Yoon Muskuraaye...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcozGjCBGP0
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
A Change in Times
As the United States of America stands poised and at the threshold of change, I watch the streaming images on television with awe!
It is really a mighty moment in history when one man stands there, as an icon for history that has been re-written. One man who represents all those dreams - dreams people both young and old never deemed possible!
Wow! I was thrilled not for the change itself or because I route for this man, but for the possibility. I'm thrilled at the possibility of a far fetched dream coming true! The limitless, endless possibilities!!! I'm not ashamed to say I cry as I watch it...
I wonder what he would be feeling - what kind of responsibility he thinks he would be inheriting...
It thrills me no end to write this as a moment in history is in the making...and I write as it unfolds...and I post this at 9:01 AM!
His family, his children, his friends - how proud they would be of being associated with him!
When I see and feel this moment, my mind also forces itself to think about some people I knew and have been let down by, in the recent past - how would these people look into the eyes of their families, the eyes of their children. Will they ever be proud? Maybe they will be - they could be proud of cheating people, and letting people who trusted and believed in them down - which probably they could explain to their children as a great strategy to life!
I don't grudge them anything except forgiveness. God be with them!
But, I wish this positive change and this man of integrity the very best for all times to come!
It is really a mighty moment in history when one man stands there, as an icon for history that has been re-written. One man who represents all those dreams - dreams people both young and old never deemed possible!
Wow! I was thrilled not for the change itself or because I route for this man, but for the possibility. I'm thrilled at the possibility of a far fetched dream coming true! The limitless, endless possibilities!!! I'm not ashamed to say I cry as I watch it...
I wonder what he would be feeling - what kind of responsibility he thinks he would be inheriting...
It thrills me no end to write this as a moment in history is in the making...and I write as it unfolds...and I post this at 9:01 AM!
His family, his children, his friends - how proud they would be of being associated with him!
When I see and feel this moment, my mind also forces itself to think about some people I knew and have been let down by, in the recent past - how would these people look into the eyes of their families, the eyes of their children. Will they ever be proud? Maybe they will be - they could be proud of cheating people, and letting people who trusted and believed in them down - which probably they could explain to their children as a great strategy to life!
I don't grudge them anything except forgiveness. God be with them!
But, I wish this positive change and this man of integrity the very best for all times to come!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
What Do These Words Mean?
The best time of my every day is when I spend those fifteen precious moments with my little one - she narrates everything that happens at her school ane me mine - trading at it's best :-)
Endless chatter about..
She was my friend today.. she wasn't my best friend today..You know I did this at school, and you know my drawing was the best...my teacher said I was eligible for the fun fast fast Math game ...and whatever else that has picked the little brain and touched the little heart!
Some days it is "Mumma, I missed you so much...the tears almost came mumma, but I didn't cry because I'm a BIG girl now...". She makes me want to cry at those moments :-)
I share my day with her too - what hurt me, what made me happy in simplified way she seems to understand - some thoughts and emotions escape her, but she nods her head as if she understands every bit of it! On some days when I've had it rough, she is usually silent and at the end always assures me that she is my best friend :-) That is her way of saying that she will always stand by me...no mater what the world says or no matter when my very own fail to...
All this happens with her little legs swung over me, and her head cradled in my arms. Those tiny little hands trying to hold me tighter as sleep threatens to engulf her...
Well, tonight was one of those days - Mumma this, and mumma that...and suddenly out of the blue, she asks me - "Mumma, what does Permanent mean?" I try and explain to her that it is forever. After a moment, she says "So, a permanent marker can also be called a FOREVER marker". I said maybe - but it did make me smile :-)
She then says "Mumma, what does miserable mean?" I again explain to her - it means being sad and unhappy. Silence. She says " I don't like anyone being miserable."
It again made me smile - Genes I thought! I don't like anyone being sad either baby I thought.
She happily slid into innocent sleep, leaving me thinking...
Just these two words coming together could lead an individual being unhappy...chasing a thought, a person, a relationship...mother, father, friend, children and whatever else...a anything where we seek "permanence" can always lead us to being "miserable", as there is no such thing in this universe. The more we try to hold it, the more it escapes...
This is the truth and the sooner we accept it, the more liberated we are! The more our scriptures, our philosophy, our religion and everything pushes us towards this detachment, the more we run the other way I guess....we humans....we love to always learn it the hard way!
Endless chatter about..
She was my friend today.. she wasn't my best friend today..You know I did this at school, and you know my drawing was the best...my teacher said I was eligible for the fun fast fast Math game ...and whatever else that has picked the little brain and touched the little heart!
Some days it is "Mumma, I missed you so much...the tears almost came mumma, but I didn't cry because I'm a BIG girl now...". She makes me want to cry at those moments :-)
I share my day with her too - what hurt me, what made me happy in simplified way she seems to understand - some thoughts and emotions escape her, but she nods her head as if she understands every bit of it! On some days when I've had it rough, she is usually silent and at the end always assures me that she is my best friend :-) That is her way of saying that she will always stand by me...no mater what the world says or no matter when my very own fail to...
All this happens with her little legs swung over me, and her head cradled in my arms. Those tiny little hands trying to hold me tighter as sleep threatens to engulf her...
Well, tonight was one of those days - Mumma this, and mumma that...and suddenly out of the blue, she asks me - "Mumma, what does Permanent mean?" I try and explain to her that it is forever. After a moment, she says "So, a permanent marker can also be called a FOREVER marker". I said maybe - but it did make me smile :-)
She then says "Mumma, what does miserable mean?" I again explain to her - it means being sad and unhappy. Silence. She says " I don't like anyone being miserable."
It again made me smile - Genes I thought! I don't like anyone being sad either baby I thought.
She happily slid into innocent sleep, leaving me thinking...
Just these two words coming together could lead an individual being unhappy...chasing a thought, a person, a relationship...mother, father, friend, children and whatever else...a anything where we seek "permanence" can always lead us to being "miserable", as there is no such thing in this universe. The more we try to hold it, the more it escapes...
This is the truth and the sooner we accept it, the more liberated we are! The more our scriptures, our philosophy, our religion and everything pushes us towards this detachment, the more we run the other way I guess....we humans....we love to always learn it the hard way!
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