The Two Sides

The room was silent - except for the movie on the television...

"Gayatri sat by the window and watched the moonlight...

She waited for the phone to ring. Waited for Vivek's call. She kept looking at it - willing for it to ring. She was at the same time afraid - almost didn't want it to ring. What if she said something that made him angry? upset him? She would never want that either. She cared for him more than herself at some level, and all she wanted was for him to be happy.

She thought she belonged to some retro movie with these thoughts - but, when it happened to her, it felt very normal. She hadn't even thought these thoughts were even possible leave alone a reality.

She wanted to say so much and open her heart and her thoughts to him - but never got a chance to. There were times when she held herself back too - for the fear of upsetting him in some way.

She wanted Vivek to know that she pined for his presence every waking moment. And she was sure that he didn't even know what that meant. Every small thing she did, she wanted his approval, his ideas...

She thought - Vivek doesn't even know that she hadn't washed some of her clothes since he had last left home...hadn't gone to those restaurants, had sat at the same spots on her couch, drank from the same cup day after day, wore the same perfume....and hadn't done anything with anyone else - all those little things they had done together. She had decided that she would wait for a lifetime and that was all she wanted him to know...and in some strange way also did not want him to know at the same time!. It wasn't to burden him with any expectations at all. But, it was a reality for her about how much she needed his presence in her life - even at a very remote, peripheral level...it was simply the essence of her existence..."

The screen flickered.

Aw! Anu had tears brimming in her eyes - but then she got up and got herself a drink...she thought "These movies make me weep. God! are these women even real in this age and time?"

A self-made, open minded woman like Anu didn't believe in these sentiments...

The alcohol did it's trick and she felt much better now...after a hard day's work...

Then she turned to check her email on her phone...he hadn't responded yet. Ashish - the person her life revolved was too busy for her...she wasn't even sure if he would come home tonight to see her...

She caught herself as she despaired...wasn't she the same as Gayatri in that movie? Weren't the sentiments almost similar?

It didn't matter to who it happened...but, some sentiments transcend time and age..maybe this was one.

Thoughts flowed...

Isn't it that happiness and sorrow are two sides of the same coin?. It was upto one which side one chooses to see. They always co-exist. Don't they? It is a choice one makes - the choice to ignore one over the other.

And both these sides are a part of us. It is only a brief manifestation of one over the other at any given moment. It is that acceptance of both that ensures equilibrium.

Anu flicked the television off...