The Digital Mind

Yesterday PM - a phone call from a cousin. Went like this..

"Hey, has been soo long since I heard your voice!How have you been? What is going on with you these days. Tell me...tell me. Missed chatting with you - think of talking to you so many times - life is so busy you know..."

I sat there and thought - And, why didn't the call happen?

Another friend - wish you were at the movies with us! And, why wasn't I there? Because she never told me about it.

I have been going through this phase in the last couple of weeks - I call it the "Weed-Out" phase of my life!

Why? Because, I have realized that my mind functions best in a digital way :-) Really. I'm the happiest when I see things black or white. Right or wrong - I don't know. But, is true for me. Either it is there or isn't. Things are best understood that way - by me :-)

The fuzzy state confuses me - BIG time! It always did, and I've spent years trying to analyse, adjust and re-adjust everything around me to plug into that space. Realized I was trying to fit a square peg in a round hole!
People not even remotely concerned even though you are thought about/are special, relatives oozing affection the minute they see you - and you cease to exist once out of sight/the phone put down, friends - who don't even remember the special days in your life, and everyone else - for who your presence/absence doesn't make a big difference .....don't cut it anymore!!!

I almost called, I kept thinking about you, I wish you were there, I thought I should give this to you, I meant to tell you this and that...uh..uh...I'm done putting brownies against them.

So, the digital logic of being in a state of "1" or "0" I think is a hassle-free way of prioritizing everything - people, relationships, tasks and whatever else....

The reason I write this is to share with you the sense of freedom and relief it offers - free from all expectations and imaginary tangles that are not needed.Works for me. Will it for you? Maybe or maybe not. Try.

And before I leave you...is it a "1" or a "0" between me as your blogger and you as my reader? :-)

Either way...have a good one!!!