Friday, May 29, 2009

The Race

This morning when I was with my little one and she was again throwing her tantrums about why she doesn't like to eat breakfast, I was getting creative with my ideas to convince her why it was important for her.

A little background on this too - she is one of those kids who I cannot bribe if she doesn't want to do something. I even was worried about this and raised it with her pediatrician who spoke at length with me and convinced me that this is a wonderful trait that I should not corrupt - and that if she can stand strong at this age against temptations (including candies or doesn't care for what her peers think) it will help her stand up for herself in her teens and her adult years. She has even strictly told me to not mess with her personality and try to change her :-)

Yesterday I was telling her about how some of the kids won the spelling bee. And she said "why does one have to go to the stage to tell you spellings mama? I can do the same sitting here too" :-)

And last evening she also told me how she answered a question in the class about why the shells make noise. I'm told she was the only one who knew the answer and walked up to the front of the class and said "The air moves into the shell, comes out, and moves into your ear and come out" That creates the crying sound. She also made sure she said that she loved shells :-)

So, back to the breakfast scene. I told her - "If you eat your breakfast you will be able to answer more questions today and run faster than your friends on the play ground" (she is in the running club of her class by the way and is proud of her laps - so was using the carrot there!).

She thought for a minute and said - "In school, why do I need to always race with my friends Mama?"

I had nothing much to say - as I needed to really think the answer through. I was silent for a long time. I did tell her it's okay if she didn't want to...

The part is that she simply doesn't believe in it...at 4 feet tall, she seems to be her own lord and master :-) A little firebrand that is ready to take on our system of competitions, of comparisons and all that goes with it... :-)

I on my part, have some thinking to do - on the best way to handle her strength and still be able to mold her into being a better fit in this society that runs on these values - good or bad, I don't know. But a reality....

2 comments:

Unawoken said...

Please check out Attribution Theory: http://education.calumet.purdue.edu/vockell/EdpsyBook/Edpsy5/edpsy5_attribution.htm

rendezvous said...

Thanks Unawoken! It's a good read!