All That Passes By

The moon tortured me again this evening.

Every single time I see the beautiful moonlight, I have a million emotions that surge up in me.

I almost picked up the phone - to call him and tell him to look at the moon. To tell him that I wish he were here - but, I didn't. I couldn't. I wish I could. Something in me stopped me.

No idea what came in between. Distance of the minds or the distance of where we had moved to. Which was greater? I didn't have an answer.

In the end, I stood all by myself on the patio and watched the most picturisque moon as it bathed everything in my view with it's beauty.

A friend of mine lost her father in the month of June. She was someone who adored her dad, and would call him up on every single pretext - advise, kids issues, office squabbles, and whatever else happened in her day to day life.

But the last she spoke to him, she had a fight. He had sent her a lot of eatables from her home town along with her sister who was visiting her. And, she picked up the phone and told him that he shouldn't have since she was moving back to India anyway in a few days. And when I met her a month ago, she cried saying "I should have thanked him for thinking of me - instead, I screamed at him?

And that was the last she spoke to him. It will haunt her always that she could have done it differently.

How many of us do things that we could have done differently? If we ever imagine that this will be the last day of our lives, and the last time we will ever meet or talk to that person, will we not do things differently?

I think I would. Just like the way I would have loved to be with him and talk to him. Just like the times when he would talk to me endlessly with a smile on his face - those whispers that meant nothing at all...

I wish I had done things differently. I wish I had not wasted my precious time doing things I didn't have to, I wish I had the power to unwind and just do it right for once.

Every morning when you wake up, think of things you could do differently like the way you would want to when you think back a few years later - and who knows you may never have a second chance at it...

Regret has no place in the future...it is now and here...

Mahashasura Mardini - The Life Force in Every Woman

When the evil is defeated by the goodness..

The 'Rakshashas' ran and hid in the depths of the 'Pathala' and tried in vain to hide in the darkest of the corners - thinking they would never be found...

But, the 'Adi Shakti' hunted them down and leveled the bad with the good...history, mythology wherever one wants to search...there is always justice that was done in the end.

Time has been witness and will continue to wait and watch as this continues even in the 'Kaliyuga' - where the new world 'Rakshashas' will be punished for their wrong doings - by the very same 'Adi Shakti' and 'Maha Shakti'in one form or the other. Who knows?

There is also enough evidence in our mythology or history that a woman is capable of making or completely destroying everything that has done her wrong...like they say every woman is an incarnation of the very same 'Adi Shakti'

Listen to this beautiful chanting:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiq6MddfBM4&NR=1

The same is depicted in a dance form:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQHryzwcndw&feature=related

The word Shakti, meaning sacred feminine force, and Durga reflects the warrior aspect of the goddess, embodying a traditional male role. She is also strikingly beautiful, and initially Mahishasura tries to marry her! Other incarnations include Annapurna and Karunamayi (karuna = kindness).

The Great Goddess Durga is said to be exquisitely beautiful. Her form is blindingly bright (devi), with three lotus-like eyes, ten powerful hands, lush hair with beautiful curls, a red-golden glow from her skin and a quarter moon on her forehead. She wears a shiny oceanic blue attire emitting fierce rays. Her ornaments were carved beautifully of gold, with ocean pearls and precious stones embedded in it. Each god also gave her their own most powerful weapons, Rudra's trident, Vishnu's discus, Indra's thunderbolt, Brahma's kamandalu, Kuber's gada, etc. Himalayas gifted her a fierce whitish golden lion.

According to the narrative from the Devi Mahatmya of the Markandeya Purana, the form of Durga was created as a warrior goddess to fight a demon. The demon's father Rambha, king of the demons, once fell in love with a water buffalo, and Mahish Asur (the demon Mahish) was born out of this union. He is therefore able to change between human and buffalo form at will (mahish means "buffalo"). Through intense prayers to Brahma, Mahishasur had the boon that he could not be defeated by any man or god. He unleashed a reign of terror on earth, heaven and the nether worlds.

Eventually, since only a woman could kill him, the Holy Male Trinity went down to the river Ganges and prayed the mantra, "Om Namo Devaye", imploring of the great goddess Devi to save their realm from ruin. They were blessed with her compassion when the goddess Durga was born out of the river.

Fear And Pleasure

I'm a big fan of Jiddu Krishnamurthi's philosophy - he was an institute in himself.I've been amazed and enamoured by the depth of his thoughts.

Fear and pleasure were lifelong themes in his public talks.He so simply puts in words how fear and pleasure are two sides of the same coin - how the fear of losing the once tasted pleasure breeds more fear.

So beautifully said - read on...

The following is an excerpt from his talk in San Diego in 1970.

“Fear is always in relation to something; it does not exist by itself. There is fear of what happened yesterday in relation to the possibility of its repetition tomorrow; there is always a fixed point from which relationship takes place. How does fear come into this? I had pain yesterday; there is the memory of it and I do not want it again tomorrow. Thinking about the pain of yesterday, thinking which involves the memory of yesterday’s pain, projects the fear of having pain again tomorrow. So it is thought that brings about fear. Thought breeds fear; thought also cultivates pleasure. To understand fear you must also understand pleasure – they are interrelated; without understanding one you cannot understand the other. This means that one cannot say ‘I must only have pleasure and no fear’; fear is the other side of the coin which is called pleasure.

Thinking with the images of yesterday’s pleasure, thought imagines that you may not have that pleasure tomorrow; so thought engenders fear. Thought tries to sustain pleasure and thereby nourishes fear.

Thought has separated itself as the analyzer and the thing to be analyzed; they are both parts of thought playing tricks upon itself. In doing all this it is refusing to examine the unconscious fears; it brings in time as a means of escaping fear and yet at the same time sustains fear.”

When Life Slows You Down

Six thirty AM and it's time to wake up
Seven AM I have a call related to work
Eight thirty and the cleaner is here
Nine AM make breakfast
Nine thirty ensure everyone is dressed and ready to face the day
Ten AM is the music class
Eleven AM I have to drive back
Twelve thirty is the dance lesson

Oh my God! it's already two thirty and I have to be at a birthday.

Six PM I have a call to make

In between all this, there is the homework from various classes, work issues, home front issues - plumbing to groceries to ants on the stairs, neighbours problems, emotional angel and issues for the family, health of all people around, and the general PR that needs to done with all we deal with...

Ten thirty and I'm still working -every inch in my body aches...

If this routine happens on a weekend, where will I end up? I have forgotten even to smile maybe :-(

This is the basic minimum a parent today can do. And if one is a woman and working on top of it, God save her :-)

I'm sure all of our lives are consumed and we are all in the rut. Running ...after something.

But, like I posted in my last posting on this blog - a mindless routine offers solace too at times. That comfort enjoyed, there is more to life than that - do you agree?

I always had ideas of the various things I want to do growing up and after having reached a point in life - my charter is undone. And today, the only excuse I have is that I run out of time.

I also on the other hand realize - I just have to try and drop dead in my tracks. That's the only way to slow down. And good or bad, I had the first hand experience that life goes on.

Nobody or nothing will stop for you - that's the bitter truth of life.

So, slow down...enjoy this moment...this is the only thing that belongs to you...and the only thing that you have an influence upon. To make it better or worse - everything else is on cruise control...and will go on no matter what.

Breathe....and let go...and live NOW. Just this moment....

When Life slows you down...slow down for Life!

Slavery To Discipline And Those Beaten Routes

Every single morning rain or shine, even if the cold is cracking into one's bones - I hear him walk on tip toe. At the very same hour.A minute later, the whir of the brush, followed by the shower. The minute I wake up - there is a pleasant face to greet..the him I talk about here is my husband.

I always teased him, made fun of him in front of my cousins and friends - I said "He can't change his habits for anyone. He is too disciplined" and what not.
Little did I realize the effort that was involved behind that very discipline I mocked.
Doing the same thing day after day consistently without expecting anything in return is something beyond my capacity and comprehension. Every evening there is a definite routine - the coffee machine is loaded for the next morning, a cup and a spoon kept next to it, with a clean bowl for oatmeal. Little things...in perfect order.

That's my husband for you!

I prided myself on being spontaneous but I now realize the comfort in being predictable after all that life has taught me. My emotions, my spontaneity - times where I surged with every high tide, every small joy and sank to the deepest of deep oceans - then I hadn't seen the real life. I was just plain happy and saw the world through my pink glasses.

But, today when I think I'm hitting a spot of no return, a point where I'm afraid to lose my sanity - nothing helps but losing myself in a routine - mindless routine.

Storms come and go, good or bad he leads on...happy to have companionship when available, enjoying his solitude if otherwise, steady and solid...I bow down today to that disciplined routine.

In a book I had glanced at sometime ago, it talked about some common habits of great people. And, it talks clearly about self-discipline. So easy to preach and so very difficult to practice.

What is self-discipline?

It is something one does or an action one performs irrespective of what their emotions are/mental state is.

I read that the five pillars of self-discipline are: Acceptance, Willpower, Hard Work, Industry, and Persistence. If you take the first letter of each word, you get the acronym “A WHIP” — a convenient way to remember.

Then of course comes the comfort of having a routine.

Isn't it the same routine that we so despise and the same very routine that we crave at other times? In times of hardship, in times of a crisis, our mind craves the very comfort of that mindless routine. Where everything is set to cruise control and everything is predictable.

We as humans seek predictable results, set to a definitive pattern no matter what the burn through has to be endured to get there - we seek happy endings.

Do we realize that we create everything - the beginning, the middle of it and the ending too - with our emotions, our thoughts, streaks of our character - good as well as bad.

We seek trodden paths, beaten routes...it's all about the comfort rendered by familiarity.

Good or bad - that's the reality and that's who we are. And who are we to judge?

But kudos to all those who can delve and thrive while running those roads towards their goals - rain or shine. Selfless, emotionless, non-judging, no good or bad thoughts for anyone or about anyone - completely focused on the finish line....

In the end, I envy you - I wish I were you...

Some Thoughts!

When chatting with some people I met today, I realized I had the experience of a 'Satsangh'...good people, good talk, positive thoughts all resulting in positive energy is what a 'Satsangh' is about. Isn't it? Thanks to the person who talked to me on all those subjects.

I present one of the topics discussed...

What is Character?

Here is a small story - Buddha on one occasion was travelling from town to town. He found a disciple in the first town, and gave him a handful of seeds. He told the disciple to keep them very very carefully, so that he can get them back on his way.

So, the first disciple kept those seeds locked away in a treasure vault along with his jewels, money and everything else that was so precious.

Buddha reached the second town and found another disciple. When it was again time to leave that town, Buddha gave the disciple another handful of seeds to keep safely.So the second disciple kept those seeds at his place of prayer along with all the deities and things of worship. He worshipped the seeds too as a part of his daily prayer ritual.

Buddha reached the third town and found his third disciple who was a simple farmer. The farmer was hesitant to meet a great person like Buddha - but his longing to hear Buddha speak and his urge to gain something from the great soul drove him to conquer his bashfulness.

On the last day, Buddha gave him a handful of seeds too and asked him to keep them safe.

Once Buddha had completed his mission of travelling to places he had planned to, he decided to re-visit his disciples.

In the first town, when asked by Buddha about the seeds the disciple proudly showed the silk cloth he had wrapped the seeds in! But, opening the same yielded a powder as they had dis-integrated over time. Buddha was sad at the result.

In the second town, the same story repeated. The disciple had failed to get his master's message.

In the third town when asked for the seeds, the farmer hung his head in shame. He said "Forgive me master, I have no seeds to give you back. I have however, sown the seeds, which in turn will give us some fresh seeds. I could not see the seeds being wasted"

Buddha was thrilled! He had finally found a disciple who understood his message.

That was the story!

But the moral from the above story is that it is not enough to know about traditions, about the right from the wrong etc. etc. if we do not put them to use. We need to sow those seeds into our everyday life and practise them.

Character is not what we think about or how great our thoughts are. It is practise that becomes a habit, and it is habit that becomes character!

The debate of good character Vs Bad character is a whole new discussion in itself...another place..another time...

Till then, take care of your self - the real inner self.

Round And Round

Another article from a good friend's blog:

Round and Round

I was in a meeting the other day with a few executives deciding on a strategy to implement a new tool. My role was to advise on what were the potential pit-falls of choosing one over the other.

Anyway, the meeting was scheduled for one hour and I observed that after the first 15 minutes, we were going round and round in circles repeating the same thing again and again, however using different words which basically meant the same. I am sure all of us have seen this happen - more so when there are peers at a leadership level without one trying to pull-rank over the other. I told the folks in the meeting that I needed to step out and could be called once they got their act together.

Here is something to think about - why do we go round in circles trying to decide? Is it because we are not strong enough to decide? Or is it because we want everyone to win and not have a heart-burn? Or is it because there is lack of leadership in a meeting? I would want to say that lack of leadership which translates to decision making capability is usually the reason that no one makes the "executive decision" and move on.

So, the next time you find that your team / peers are going round in circles, will you step up to the plate and make the decision or you will let someone else make the decision for you? Think about it!

Grateful Forever!

On this day I wish to thank you for making
me your mom
On this day I wish to forget the loneliness
I felt when I did not have you
On this day I wish to forget the day I was
watching children play
and people questioned "how is it not being a mom?"
On this day I wish to forget the fear
of never having any of my own

On this day forwards, I wish to remember the joy
I felt when I first held you in my arms
On this day I wish to remember your
first smile
Your cuddles, warm hugs and wet kisses
Your first steps, your first song

On this day I wish to thank you for making me a better person...
On this day I wish to thank you for warming my heart forever...

An Article on Shift

A good article I recently read - the author is a friend of mine...putting it for you to read...

"Every era is marked by a fundamental shift - In power, In Economy, In technology. This new era is exactly what you say about it being a global, borderless community. We need to take a step back and analyze that why there has been a shift in the "power-bases" as have rightly pointed. It is the burning desire (if I may) about the "have-nots" to succeed. This is not just relevant in the global IT ecosystem. It is across countries, cultures, industries and economies.

Now, is this a good thing or a bad thing? I believe that it is good (a challenge is always good) because when we feel that we are not in the driver's seat anymore we tend to re-focus on our core competencies. We tend to look at what can we do better (see the theme of the burning desire to succeed) and therefore we innovate. Yes, the transition is difficult to deliver results almost immediately however during the transition we need to ignore the noise (outsource / job-loss etc.) and focus on what we can do the best - become the center of global IT. That should be the goal. There can we a number of various strategies to achieve this goal however I feel the primary strategy should be coopetition."

Another Good Song...

I like it...and here I share with you...very up-beat!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVF4TfAYPZk

A dialogue free version of the same song is available below - I like this version better :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OOlu7gUTYA&NR=1

Enjoy!

Dial M for Murder

We've all grown up seeing Hitchcock movies, and one of his best ones I think is "Dial M for Murder".

Dial M for Murder (1954) is a film directed by Alfred Hitchcock starring Grace Kelly, Ray Milland, and Robert Cummings, and released by Warner Brothers. The movie was based on the almost identical stage play of the same title by English playwright Frederick Knott (1916-2002).

The Plot:

Tony Wendice (Ray Milland) is a former tennis player who married Margot (Grace Kelly) partly for her money. To please his wife, he has given up tennis and now sells sports equipment. Margot once had a relationship with Mark Halliday (Robert Cummings), a crime writer for American TV, but broke it off when Mark went to the U.S. for a year. In time, they stopped writing to each other.

Tony and Margot have made their wills, naming each other as beneficiary. For a year, Tony meticulously plans Margot's murder. She has no idea that Tony knows of her love for Mark. He has gone to great lengths to steal a handbag containing one of Mark's letters, and even assumed the role of an anonymous Brixton-based blackmailer to find out whether she would pay to have it back.(She did, but he asked for only £50.) He even watched them having a little farewell party (eating spaghetti with mushrooms) in Mark's studio flat in Chelsea.

Tony slyly withdraws small amounts of money for a year, collecting £1,000 in (used) one-pound notes, with which he plans to pay a contract killer. He singles out the perfect man to do the job: C. A. Swann (Anthony Dawson), who now calls himself "Captain Lesgate", an old schoolmate who had embarked on a life of petty crime when they were students together. Tony knows that now he will be able to blackmail Swann into murdering his wife....

For the rest of the story....watch the movie - don't miss it!

Popcorn, a blanket and the movie - just be sure not to have your wife by the side :-)

Empty

One of those days and times when everything feels empty. Fill it up with things you like to do - fill it up with some activity to do...enough advise. why run away and try to make oneself busy?

I'm so tempted to leave this page empty...just to give you a feel of what it feels like...






















what say?