Poem for the Day

A pick from a great Poet - Rabindranath Tagore - Enjoy !

JOURNEY HOME

The time that my journey takes is long and the way of it long.

I came out on the chariot of the first gleam of light, and pursued my voyage through the wildernesses of worlds leaving my track on many a star and planet.

It is the most distant course that comes nearest to thyself,
and that training is the most intricate which leads to the utter simplicity of a tune.

The traveler has to knock at every alien door to come to his own,
and one has to wander through all the outer worlds to reach the innermost shrine at the end.

My eyes strayed far and wide before I shut them and said `Here art thou!'

The question and the cry `Oh, where?' melt into tears of a thousand streams and deluge the world with the flood of the assurance `I am!'

Rabindranath Tagore

Of Strengths and Weaknesses

Did you ever encounter a situation when the reality of one of your strengths turning into your weakness, hit you?
That said, even the reverse holds true in some cases - that of one of your weakness turning to a strength.

Things, people or even relationships that you always pride are your very core strength could potentially turn into the dreaded noose around your neck. If we stepped back and thought about it - what is it that turns them from one to the other, the answer is fairly simple. Expectations!

The minute this element enters any effort, process or a relationship, the end or failure of the same, begins to appear on the horizon. But, is it possible for us humans to alleviate much less remove ourselves from this overriding factor? It is definitely easier said than done. This very factor may also present itself as a motivator, based on previous history of success, in some cases.

Think about it - but is Freedom - freedom in all our interactions, or relations, in all that we say or do- really the opposite of Expectations of all sorts?. Maybe in some vague sense, Yes. But, Freedom, comes with it's own baggage - so the Mantra that works here maybe Moderation - moderation of even the best things in Life!

To quote from Jiddu Krishnamurthy's writings:

Freedom is not a reaction; freedom is not a choice. It is man's pretence that because he has choice he is free. Freedom is pure observation without direction, without fear of punishment and reward. Freedom is without motive; freedom is not at the end of the evolution of man but lies in the first step of his existence. In observation one begins to discover the lack of freedom. Freedom is found in the choiceless awareness of our daily existence and activity.

True North

Click! Anu slowly put the phone down. It was all over...looking out at the distant hills out of the window, Anu let the sob escape her...

Raj and Anu had begun their life together 20 years ago, on a bright summer day. The world seemed to belong to them that day! Their lips could not do justice to the happiness they felt in their hearts, their eyes could not capture the love they shared.


"Anu, where is my phone" - Raj was frantically searching for his wallet and his cell phone. "Clumsy as usual" - thought Anu. When will this mamma’s boy grow up, and what would he do without me:). She found both the things buried in the folds of their leather couch, and put it in her hubby's pocket. Raj was out of the door before she could bat an eyelid - late for a meeting as usual!

The first anniversary meant a lot to both of them! Raj ensured he got her the right color of roses. He even remembered to buy her a book from her favorite author. Anu was simply thrilled.

"Anu, where is my laptop now?"- Raj was irritated. The house never looked the same anymore. Anu had begun to work, and did not have much time to make a museum of it like she always had done before.

"Anu, wake up - quick". She was startled. Raj was shaking her to wake her up. She glanced at the clock. It was 2 AM in the morning. "What happened Raj?" . He sheepishly grinned "Nothing Anu, I just had to talk to you - I have so much going on. How about we chat with a cup of coffee on the patio?". At 2 AM ?. Then she grinned - he is such a baby, she thought.

An unplanned vacation, a stolen day off from work, a quick lunch together - they managed to spend their life as much as they could together. Even did laundry together. Had to be together you see :)

"Anu, where is my suitcase. I need to fly out in the next 4 hours to the company head quarters in Singapore". A trip? on the fly? oh well, she knew Raj. Everything was so spontaneous. The next two days flew by with no news from him. Then a call from the airport - "Anu, I'am coming back. There has been a change in plan". She quickly cancelled her plans to eat dinner with a friend. Wanted to be home when he came back, tired from a trip. Her friend was mad, but she couldn't do much.

Years rolled by, Raj was one of the few important people in his company now. Birthdays and anniversaries came by and went, but there was never time to celebrate them anymore. Flowers and mid-night coffee chats had been long forgotten.

"Anu, where is my.... forget it , I found it myself". Raj stormed out of the house. Late for a meeting as usual. "Raj, I need to talk to you...". He was gone. They had to talk about selling one of their houses in their hometown, and it was an important decision to make. She couldn't do it alone. Later that afternoon, she called him at work. She suddenly remembered something about one of his relatives, and the way he said hello into the phone, and just to pull Raj's leg, she said it into the phone, and began to laugh. "Anu, I'am busy - tell me quickly - else we could talk later. I do not have time for silly jokes..." The phone went mute. She felt something rip through her. What had all this come to? What was more important in our lives than to share a laugh together?

They also had the battle of infertility to fight together. They had been trying to have a baby for over six years now, and it had turned into her struggle somewhere along the way. The disappointments, the reports, the tests - it was depressing.

That week, she went to their hometown. The beautiful little house amidst the mountains worked their magic on Anu. Two days of taking walks all by herself, listening to the sounds of nature, did it! She felt the calm, and just standing by the monolithic rock by the winding path, she made her decision.

Raj picked up the phone and barked into the receiver "Yes Anu, where on the face of the earth are you? who is going to take care of all these bills, and the house if you go away on your vacation? I don't have the time - I have better things to do" . The world will stop without me - Anu silently added to his sentence inside her mind. All she said into the phone was "Raj, I'am not coming back- ever". There was silence. Absolute pin drop silence. "What? you are kidding right?". She just said "No"

She had done it. Simple and straight. There had been no arguments, no fights, no nothing nasty ever. And, everything they had painfully built together, was over - just like that, in a minute! vanished into thin air! They had nothing to share anymore.

The coffee brewed, and the aroma of it wafted through the house and into the little garden behind the house. She poured herself some, and sat by the staircase. Tried to force herself to drink a sip. No, couldn't. Raj loved coffee. She couldn't get herself to drink even a sip of it in the last month. Since the day they had their little phone conversation.

Every little thing went back to Raj somehow. The walks, the coffee, the food, the TV, the books, the rainbows in the mountains, the rain - everything simply reminded her of him.It was simply unbearable.

If he had meant so much to her, why could she have not compromised a little more? why had she wanted her freedom? To do what? Is it that something or someone just grows on you and finally becomes a part of you and your life unknowingly?

It was funny, she thought. You fight through all the odds till you get what you believed would be the solution for all of your problems, and then once you get it, turn around and again fight till you get rid of it. Will we humans be ever happy? Always running behind something we don't have...

"Anu, where is my coffee.." Raj was stunned by the silence that echoed.He was so used to having Anu mother him, take care of him and anticipate his every need. It had all seemed so unimportant at that time. All that had mattered were the profits of his cost center, his company - the charts and graphs.The food, the home she kept, the very things he so took for granted were all long gone.She had silently stood by him, at all times. And now had as silently retreated away, taking away his world with her. He slumped into the sofa, and thought "What had gone wrong?" The smiles, the laughter, everything - sacrificed for what?

The sunset was amazingly beautiful! Anu stood there watching it for a long long time. Everything in nature seemed to be so calm, so contained and so uninterruptible. Sunsets were especially beautiful when you shared it with someone you cared, she sighed. In a mad moment, she wished Raj was here - right next to her. What was wrong with her, she was the one who ran away from him, their life together. And now this? Maybe she had carried things too far, and expected too much from him? But again, was it wrong to expect him to laugh with her once in a way, was it wrong to expect him to pamper her once in a way? Whatever it was, the painful reality was that her life was destined to be with him, he was a part of it, and was meaningless to her now without him. She felt lost - he was her true North!

Everyone of us have something or someone that are our own pivotal points - it is all about finding it or them - finding our own true North !!

She heard a car park infront of the picket fence. Raj came into the yard, and into the house. He stood hesitantly at the door. She had a question in her eyes. He simply said "I've come to take you back". She thought - Can't you say you missed me? Can't you say I'am everything, instead of being so plain. So, practical in every expression? She laughed ! why was she such a dreamer? why did she expect all this. This was him. Simple, plain and practical. And, she knew he was her destiny - there was no other way to it.

She packed, and she was on her way ...back...headed North..with her true North.

Zugunruhe !

The morning Sun seemed to greet all the sleepy heads a very good morning and shone bright and brilliant !!

Anita stood on her terrace this morning right next to the coconut tree and the jasmine creeper, sipping her coffee and digging up all her memories. Summers spent lying on the cool terrace, soaking up the sweet scents of the jasmine, and hiding here on various occasions - to escape from her brother and her cousins who got the wildest satisfaction playing tricks on her, and tormenting her no end through their summer vacations when they met up.

Two months to this day, she had been married to Neel, and they were about to set off to America. Neel had gotten a job with one of the consulting firms there, and was very excited about pursuing a career abroad! He could not wait to leave here, and start his new life. His excitement was very almost contagious. Anita for one was very excited that she was about to start a new life with her beloved husband, and at the same time was a little skeptical of starting it in an alien land - away from her parents, brother, cousins and the surrounding she had grown up in. She had packed and re-packed everything - except for one last box. She hoped to fill it with her memories - little trivia she had collected over the years. Little things that were a part of her life!

She opened the trunk that was carefully stashed away in the back of the attic, and went "AAcchoooo"! Ah, so much dust had collected on the top since she had last opened it - probably 8 years ago :) In there, lay little pencils, crayons, erasers, beads, feathers, comics and most precious of all the Rhine stones she had painfully collected as a child! And how proud she was of her collection! She put everything she wanted in the last unpacked suitcase and smiled when she thought of Neel's reaction- he would certainly scream!! But well, she needed to carry at least a part of her past with her - the familiarity comforted her. She was she, and needed these to be herself. She would pacify Neel :) She came bounding down the stairs and sat by the sofa. On the floor lay that day's newspaper, and something on the front page caught her attention - it was an article on "Migratory Birds" !! Complete details on how some birds flew very very long distances during particular seasons.

On the other side of the globe in California, Mr.Pai heaved a sigh as he put the folder away and set his glasses on the coffee table. At last, they were almost ready. He and his wife were away from their land of birth for almost 40 years! It was a long time to spend in an alien country when all that they had come for was to see the world for a year or two at the maximum. They did not realize how time had flown and how they gotten deeper and deeper into various commitments, and had almost forgotten their resolve to head back home! Two full time jobs, two beautiful, bubbly daughters to raise, a suburban home to keep and the commute kept their hands overly full. When they got a moment to breathe and thought of home, they always felt something tug - tug in the pits of their stomach. But, they had to wait for all these years for their little princesses to grow up, finish college and settle down.

Well, all that was done now, and they had the time to think of themselves and how they would spend the evening of their lives together. That is when without the slightest disagreement, Mrs & Mr.Pai had agreed that they had to go back - back to their motherland! Go back to where they came from - their very roots. The pull was too strong now - too much to ignore.

The grandfather clock in the hallway struck ten o'clock, and Mr.Pai decided to call it a day. On the way out, he picked up the newspaper of the day. The headlines caught his attention - it was a detailed article on the life of "Migratory Birds"! He stood there in the center of his huge drawing room with a ceiling that seemed to soar towards the sky - he stood there all alone right in front of a family picture, a picture full of smiling, happy people- people from his past, who seemed to be beckoning to him now.

Somehow the life of a migratory bird, and the lives of humans seemed synonymous to him - the restlessness seemed comparable. It was interesting to him to think how humans were so skeptical of changing their own habitat, fearful of a new surrounding. These birds migrated every season, with no fear or inertia. Why are we humans so complacent? And why do we fear change in all forms? Maybe because we have complicated our own lives, and created our own imaginary fears. And we indulge ourselves in breaking these self-created barriers!

The term "Zugunruhe" came to him - something that meant migratory restlessness, as told by his German friend and co-worker Rainer!

A tear coursed down his now crinkled cheek - he had taken so long, so long to go back. His mother had made him promise he would be back within two years - but ... time had just flown. Nothing was stopping him now- he was on his way back, but to an empty home. His mother was not there waiting for him- she had long since passed away. But, he had memories of his land - the scents, the people, the bonds and the familiar surroundings to hold on to, as they together walked hand in hand into the sunset of their lives....

The Story Writer

I just finished writing, and put my pen down. Phew! It always exhausted me writing a story - I lived and re-lived my characters. Played with them, turned them upside down in my mind, and did what I had to do with them - I was in control, it was my world! Entirely my very own.

I suddenly realized that I was late for my dentist appointment. It was noon already, and I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since I had woken up. Writing was a passion for me, and I felt obsessed when I was in the middle of writing one of my stories.I forgot all about food and sleep in the process :)

Looking at the clock, I had a full two hours before I got to the dentist. So, I quickly showered, dressed and ate a light lunch of a salad and a piece of brown bread with it. I washed it down with a glass of lemonade. I decided to stop at the local grocer to pick up the ingredients for my dinner this evening - I was having my best friend Pam over this evening. It was her birthday after all, and I wanted to do something special for her.

I stopped at the store in five minutes, and went straight to the produce section, and picked up asparagus, sweet potatoes and beets. I was grilling all the vegetables just like she liked. Then came Caramel Custard for desert! Yum I loved it too, just like Pam did :) Vanilla beans, whole milk and eggs is all I needed. It was while I was picking up the eggs, I felt a sense of 'deja vu' about the whole thing. I heard a kid run past me vrooming like an airplane, and almost bumped into me! I quickly stepped out of his way, and he was followed by his mom dressed in a pair of jeans and a white shirt. Gosh! their was something so very familiar about this whole scene.

Silly, I thought and brushed aside the whole thing. I landed up at the dentist. While I waited, my mind went back to the same scene,over and over again and the funny feeling I had was that I had seen the whole thing somewhere! It was too familiar. While I looked out of the window, and my mind ticked away - it came to me! Ah! that's it! the mom running after the boy was none other the heroine of my latest novel - Maya! But, why was Maya here? She was busy at a tech conference happening in New York - and that too in my novel. I hadn't written beyond that. How could she be here, and without my permission?

I was called inside the dentist's office. The wisdom tooth hurt. The pain was almost unbearable.I said the same to the doctor.He nodded and gave me something to ease the pain away- at least for sometime.The doctor's assistant casually conversed, and said "so, what are you doing this summer?" I immediately heard myself say "whatever my kids want to - maybe go away to a summer house on the beach". She nodded and left the room. I was shocked! What did I just say? Whatever the kids liked? I never had any kids - so which kids was I talking about? But this was exactly what Maya had said to her friend two chapters ago - in my novel!

I left the dentist's office and almost ran to my car. I was confused. I just decided I needed to take it easy now. The pressure was getting to me. Not worth it. I was just about to pass the mall. Instead, I thought it would do me good to stop by, have fun shopping and in the mean time pick up something for Pam for her birthday.

As I did some window shopping, I became aware that there was a little boy smiling and staring at me.Then I saw his grandmother trying to take him away from me and in a rush to go into the jacket store. I entered the store too, and thought I should buy a light jacket for myself. I liked a red jacket, and trying it on, I looked into the mirror. I looked stunning! The assistant helping around asked "for what occasion do you need a jacket for?" I quickly without missing a beat, replied "for a conference in New York". I walked out of the store with a daze - conference? what conference? I was a school teacher - just a plain school teacher surviving the summer vacation!
Lonely and bored - with no family and friends to share it with.

I sat there in my car parked under the tree .It had begun to rain- a mid summer shower. I sat there thinking, watching the rain. Wondering what was happening with me, and what had gone wrong. I just sat there for maybe hours and thought that somewhere along the way I had begun to live my characters - they had taken me over. I was not in control anymore - they controlled me now!

After what seemed like ages, I made peace - with myself. I had a smile on my face. I decided to quit writing - I would get my life back. I would not let my characters rule me - never.

I felt happy and light and relieved. I did not have to worry about anything now. No characters, no publishers and no more stories. I had my life back, and I would live it to the fullest, the right way!

The lights on the skyline twinkled...

Bollywood Songs- Uncensored !

This morning on my drive to work, I turned on my CD player in the car - I was on my way to the school to drop off my 4 year old.

The song that came on was from one of the latest Bollywood movies called Dhoom2 - so my 4 year old sings along "S.xy lady on the floor...". It was nauseating to hear such adult language from the mouth of a four year old.

That was what got me thinking - if one has cared to hear some of the latest songs that are belted out in the Bollywood movies - specially the ones in the last 8 years or so, you can see that they use language that is not commonly used.

On my last trip to India and specifically in a marriage, I saw little children dancing away to songs whose lyrics did not quiet suit them. Songs that did not make sense to them , nor looked good when they were gyrating away to wordings that were way above their innocent ages. What is more weird is that parents today are encouraging their children to go this route - this probably includes all of us!

Now who is responsible for writing the lyrics to these songs? Is there some kind of censorship exercised on them at all? Do they have any social responsibility at all, or is it that all they care about is their album being sold?
It may sound hypocritical to say the above, in an era when the counter argument could very well be that information should be widely and freely available to all - unbarred.

This menace of inappropriate lyrics is true specifically for songs originating from Bollywood. When you want to hum the latest song, you may want to watch your audience, because the wordings may not be all that hummable :)Maybe they should start rating (U, PG13 etc.) the songs too like the way they rate movies going forwards!

I must say that the music has definitely gotten better over the years, in terms of various instruments used, the technology used to get the effects and everything, but it has dragged down the lyrics in it's climb. Well, maybe you cannot have the best of both - and like they say good things could corrupt the world too!

Beauty Mantra

Here are some quick beauty tips - I was intending to say these are specially aimed at my female readers, but that is not true anymore in an age where men are getting regular facials and even getting their eye brows threaded ! So, use these tips as you please :)

*Have a party to go to, and don't have time for a facial ? Take a spoon of sugar, and scrub for two full minutes on a wet face. Rinse with cold water, and be ready to face the glow !
*Tomato is a great home made astringent
*Take a spoon of Papaya pulp, a spoon of cold milk, and half a spoon of honey. Mix and apply to face. Leave the mask on for at least half hour. The skin glows right after you rinse away !
*Crushed fenugreek seeds mixed with some yogurt is excellent for dandruff and for general hair health.
*A drop of lemon if used to rinse off your shampooed hair ensures a sheen to the mane :)
*Don't throw away an over ripe banana. It makes an excellent face mask. Mush and apply and rinse after 20 minutes.

try the above for now, and more tips to follow in subsequent articles...

Things that people say !

Today being a Monday morning, was as crazy as any other. I was busy getting my little one down and out of the car seat and at the same time convincing her that all big girls don't have to do everything on their own - that's when I heard a familiar voice behind me.

I was half inside the car, and half outside, struggling with the car seat belt. It was one of the moms I usually ran into every morning, and she was asking, “How are you doing” and breezed past me. Gone before I could bat an eyelid! It was as if she was never there. I had by now, come out of the car and was struggling to get the door shut without hitting the neighbor’s car, as the parking spot had said “Compact, and I still had ventured parking my car into the spot.

Now, I wanted to tell this lady all the hundred reasons why I was having a bad morning. A splitting headache, a sleepless night since the kiddo tossed due to a stuffy nose, a husband on the side who snored away, aching legs, hungry growl in the stomach since there was no time for breakfast, a bad hair day, or the fact that I was cold in a skirt – a bad choice on a rainy day!

I always wonder when people ask each other how the other is doing or Wassup - do they really ask because they care? If they do, they never really stop to find out. But, I assume it’s more for the formality. What use is this formality anyway? Why waste your time saying things you don’t mean and don’t have the time to follow through anyway?

I recently took a class, and the instructor taught things that were obsolete, but had to because it was part of the curriculum. So, every time he taught an obsolete command from the text book, he would say “If you ever use this syntax in real life, send me an e-mail”. Now, it tickled my imagination every time he said it. I sat there thinking, what will he do if everyone of us in the class uses one of these commands every single day, and sends him an e-mail? What’ll he do in the end with all those e-mails? Again, I realize it’s an expression he uses, but why say things you don’t mean? Who’s putting a gun to our heads to do these things?

All of us say and do things we really don’t mean or care about every single day of our lives. I know that there is no way out since we live in a society that is bound by rules – the very rules that were created by us. But, now the rules rule us, humans!

So, the next time you say something you really don’t mean – think of this article you have spent time reading. Look at your self in the mirror and try to be honest at least to yourself – believe me, you will be a happier person!!!

The Train

The engine blew it's whistle and chugged out of the little train station situated on the outskirts of our quiet little town.

I settled myself at the window and looked longingly at the green fields that belonged to people I knew and grew up with, all my life. I tried to capture one last loving glance of all my favorite sights - I would be gone to the city for a long long time on a job posting.

With a heavy sigh, I turned my gaze around the train compartment. There was an old couple opposite me - busy in getting their luggage arranged. Above them was a single guy already immersed in a book - he didn't seem to care about all that happened around him. On the farther side sat a middle aged lady, and along with her sat a young girl in her mid twenties. I saw that she was average in her looks, wore glasses and had a beautiful smile. Behind those glasses I saw big brown eyes- curious, ready to smile and happy!

Everyone seemed to have found their favorite spots and had settled in. Suddenly I heard a commotion, some arguing and then a thump of baggage being unloaded right next to me. I looked up and saw a fat man in his mid forties, carrying at least 3 bags and a big large suitcase - he had also managed to hold a cup of coffee with one hand. He was precariously balancing everything and he finally sat down carefully. Within 5 minutes of sitting, out came a packet of chips - he seemed such a friendly person with a very cheerful disposition. He turned to me and said "Has the ticket collector been here already ?" I nodded my head. He offered his pack of chips to everyone - I refused. He again said " what's the fun in travelling if you don't eat ?". I laughed - I hated to eat even a single bite even on the longest of my jouneys!

We were at least 3 hours into our journey. The young man who had buried himself in the book was alive to the world again - he had gotten down to stretch. He kept standing at the door and I noticed that he kept smoking and looking out for a long time. A thinker, a writer, an artist ? who could he be, I thought. He was unshaven, dark, tall, rugged and handsome in a very uncommon way. I shrugged - what do I care who all these people are.

An hour passed, and when I decided to get myself a coffee, I saw that the young man and the girl with the lady seemed to have gotten to know each other, and were busy chatting up. Young blood I thought - never waste a moment. Talk, talk all the time!
The guy seemed to have a good sense of humor - for everything he said, the girl seemed to be bursting into laughter. He then brought out a harmonica and played it for a while. He then set to teaching her how to play the harmonica.

Night fell, and everyone quietly ate their dinner. The fat man next to me had been a munching machine, and must have eaten at least a few pounds of nuts, crackers, candy, chips and god knows what. He had additionally guzzled a few quarts of soda, coffee, and water. Would he finish up all the food on planet Earth if left lose I thought. I laughed at my own imagination ! I was funny - at least I made myself laugh !

I glanced at the door, and on the steps I saw them - still chatting away. The girl and the guy were busy discussing - probably the most important topics they thought they could never find time to catch up on. Did they have to resolve world issues right this night sitting in that cold on that doorstep ? Why was I so bitter ? Why did it upset me that they were having such a good time? The soft sounds of the harmonica continued into the night.

I woke up a couple of times in the middle of the night - still could hear their quiet banter, interspersed with soft laughter. I finally sat up at about 5AM in the morning. It was my usual time to be up. I peeked outside the window and saw that the train had stopped at a big station. There was the aroma of coffee!

I saw that the guy had gotten down to get them both some coffee. Will make a good husband to some girl one day I thought! I got myself a cup and watched the sunrise throught the crack of the window. Watching a sunrise and a sunset has always been very special for me - I feel very raw and primal in my gut when I see the elements of nature resplendent in it's true colors!

The friendship between the two seemed to have grown.They were very comfortable, and the girl seemed to have picked up playing the harmonica. I saw the girl's mother tell her to catch some sleep and that it was enough. She turned a deaf ear and on went their chat.

A day into the journey, I was ready to throw at the sight of any food - my fat neighbor had done that to me !

That night I saw them talk again on the door step - everyone in the compartment was fast asleep. I had nominated myself to be the watchdog ! well, the truth was that I couldn't sleep with all the coffee in the evening.

As I watched them, I saw the guy hold her hands for a brief minute - she seemed to be listening to him - very intently. Certainly they were discussing something very important to both of them ! I wish I could move closer to hear. I then looked at her mother and thought - why can't she tell her daughter to go to bed now ?

I woke up the next morning, and found the guy ready with his bags to get down. The train was at a station. The guy and the girl were saying their good-byes alomst at the top of thier voices, and at the very end, there was a quiet quick exchange of glances and the guy got down.I immediately saw a couple, who seemed like his parents come to receive him.

Since the train had a long stop at that station, I got down and walked to the news stand.

The guy seemed to have forgotten his book - the one he hadn't had the time to read since the first day. He had run back to the compartment to get it, and seeing his parents standing next to me, I smiled. His mother smiled back and began a casual conversation and told me that she was so happy to see him back home. Afterall, he was to become a father any day since his wife was expecting ! It stirred up something in me.

The guy had come back by then and they left.I silently began to walk back to the train.

I went back to the train and saw the girl at the window. She was busy talking to the fat man and the old couple now. The train moved on, and another day passed before we reached our destination. I was irritated with the girl - I now wonder why ?

The girl seemed to have moved on too - she did not waste another minute getting to know the entire compartment, and had ended up eating many packets of chips with the fat man ! And that night, I saw her sit at the door step - she had the harmonica ! She began to play the notes I heard them play before. He had left his music behind for her.

She seemed happy - so, why was I not ? why was I feeling as if something beautiful that could have happened did not happen? Why did it bother me that he had a wife who was to have a baby at home ? Maybe it didn't bother the girl at all. Maybe they did not even think the way I was thinking for them. Maybe they knew that they were just going to be very good friends - and friends for the time the journey lasted? In the end they had had a good time. So, why did I feel all this ?

Oh well, I thought in the end, my being single at fifty seemed so easy and uncomplicated...the world and it's relationships were too complex for me to handle.


I was happy and that was all I cared about !

Grateful Forever!

On this day I wish to thank you for making
me a mom
On this day I wish to forget the loneliness
I felt when I did not have you
On this day I wish to forget the day I was
watching children play
and people questioned "how is it not being a mom?"
On this day I wish to forget the fear
of never having any of my own

On this day forwards, I wish to remember the joy
I felt when I first held you in my arms
On this day I wish to remember your
first smile
Your cuddles, warm hugs and wet kisses
Your first steps, your first song


On this day I wish to thank you for warming my heart forever...

A few tickles !

Top Ten Indian Joint Ventures :

10. A chain of "Bhaskar-RaoBins" ice cream stores all over the country, in collaboration with Baskin Robins.

9. Kraft will make "PARAMESAN CHEESE" at Madras, in collaboration with Parameswaran & Co.

8. Kentucky Fried Chicken will open its chain of Indian version, to be named, "KARNATAKI FLY-ED CHICKEN" and will be headquartered at Bangalore.

7. Pizza Hut will open a chain, in the back alleys of all cities, its version, to be named:"PICHHE HUT". Headquarters: Kanpur. PICHHE = means back-alleys for the uneducated

6. McDonalds will open its fast food restaurants to be named: "McDosalu". Hqs. Hyderabad. Main menu: Idli and Dosa.

5. Mr. Submarine will name its restaurants as "Mr. SUBRAMANI", to be headquartered at Madras.

4. Red Carpets colored with biodegradable (hence environmentally friendly) red PAAN. Juice extracts will enjoy duty-free status in US.

3. Dallas Cowboys will own a new franchise: Dilli's COW-BHAIS, to teach Indians how to play Football.... with hands.

2. Duty-free import of Ambassador cars into USA, as long as they are not used outside of Demolition Derby.

1. Internal Revenue Service will provide technology transfer of its Tax System software to Indian Income Tax Dept and to be named: "UNCLE SHYAM".
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Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.

The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."

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A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn`t know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
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The world's most avid hockey fan, a beautiful sardarni, had arrived early at the stadium for the first game of the series between local rival teams only to realize that she had left her ticket at home.

Not wanting to miss any of the match, she went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat. After an hour's wait she was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, 'Hey, Jasmeet!'

She looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner of the voice - with no success. Then she realized she had lost her place in the line, and had to go back to the end of the line and wait all over again. Just as she got to the window, a voice called out, 'Hey, jasmeet!' Again she tried to find the voice and got out of line as she wandered looking for the owner of the voice.

But no luck. She was very upset as she got back in line for her ticket.

Finally she had her ticket and took her seat eager for the game to begin. As she waited for it to start, she heard the voice calling, 'Hey,Jasmeet!' once more.

Furious, she stood up and yelled at the top of her lungs, 'My name isn't Jasmeet!'
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What is yellow and white, and goes down railway lines at over 100 miles an hour? The train drivers egg sandwich!
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What one thing is everybody in the world doing at exactly the same time?

Growing older!
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My Nest

The door to Nina's bedroom shut with a bang, and an instant later I heard her scream "Dad, I will go no matter what !". I immediately heard Ashok shout from his bedroom below, with equal gusto - "Do what you have to Nina, and don't blame me later when you have to look for two square meals a day. I'll never ever speak to you after today if you dare leave".

This argument between them was a few years old, but had now reached a new cresendo. Nina wanted to persue a career in fine arts in a little artsy town on the west coast of the country, and Ashok being the successful professional, was completely unnerved at the very thought. He had never heard any of his friend's or acquaintance's daughters or sons persue a career in fine arts. All he knew was these were to be left as hobbies and dealt with for one's own recreation in spare time. Running after these ideals never got anyone anything in life - his philosophy was that dreams are never fulfilled on an empty stomach!

But, Nina on the contrary was a stubborn, strong willed girl. She had read enough material on the philosophy of life and her ideas set on how she wanted to lead her own life. She loved life, and wanted to live it like there was no other day left of it, everyday - she did not want to grow up and work for the cliched "job" just because everyone did it.

So, the debate had grated onto my ears day after day, and the tempers had rosen for the last few days since Nina was to leave for her new assignment the very same evening. It's funny that she wanted to go so badly and I knew as her mom that she would go come what may - but she still wanted her father's approval for the very same act! And being Ashok's wife I know very well, that this approval she seeks from him will never come in Nina's lifetime.

I had tried to make peace in all ways possible, since Nina was our only child. But, my position only got to being a tougher spot to be in, by the day and the hour. They pulled me in exactly the opposite directions. I thought what each one said was the right thing to do when I was alone with them - they had conviction and believed in what they said. And me, I couldn't live without the either of them. They were the pillars of my very existence.

The evening came, and Nina left with a peck on my cheek and a tight hug. Ashok never left his room even to bid her a good-bye. The night turned to dawn and a whole day passed. Nina hadn't called to say she had reached her destination safely either, and I hadn't seen Ashok leave for work or come back home - he had shut himself away.

I went into Nina's room that late evening. The sun had just set, and I hadn't turned on the lights yet. The minute I opened the door, I was prepared for a blare of the music to hit me. Nina always played her music very loud. But today, nothing happened.Her clothes were neatly folded. No piles on the floor. Her bed was made. No blankets hanging from the corners. I missed the mess. A familiar scent of her perfume hung in the air!
I went to her closet, opened it and stood for a brief moment. I then took one of her shirts in my hand. I was terribly missing my baby ! I just held her shirt to my face - feeling her almost next to me. I longed for her to dance around me, not letting me even talk ...."Mumma...Mumma...". Where had my baby gone? Was she afraid somewhere in the dark? Did she have nightmares? who would comfort her if she awoke in the night and couldn't sleep? Was she hungry ? Was she in good company?

I looked out of the window and sobbed softly into her shirt..I just wanted my baby back...my nest was empty. My little one had flown the nest..

Outside the window, in the garden stood a Mango tree. The Mother sparrow had laid four eggs, and recently out of them had come the baby sparrows! They were a pleasure to watch - tweetering away and fighting over every worm their mommy got for them. Motther sparrow was doing her best to keep them cozy and fed at all times. There was no daddy sparrow in sight - well, he was never around since she had had the babies. Every morning she taught them how to feed themselves, and tried to encourage them to fly! Three of the baby sparrows flew with no fear in their heart - they circled high above till they were tired and came back right into their mother's arms to hear her say how proud she was of them! The little fourth sparrow refused - he just didn't want to fly. No amount of her coaxing helped him fly. Mother sparrow was at a loss. she didn't know what to do. She kept talking to her baby that it was important to know to fly. Last afternoon, baby sparrow had looked into her eyes and seemed to have understood how strongly she felt that he should fly. That's when a miracle happened- it was last evening! The baby sparrow had flown ! He flew. But, had not returned ever since!. Actually, none of the baby sparrows had returned since sunset yesterday. Now mother sparrow was worried why all her babies had not come back for over a day. She waited...and waited...none came.

Mother sparrow wondered if she had done the right thing by encouraging her baby to fly..he had not wanted to. Atleast she would have had him if she had not insisted. Was she to blame for the loss?

Tears flowed as she sat perched on a branch right above the window...

Both the mothers had tears in their eyes, and emptiness in the pits of their stomach..it hurt, since their nests were empty now- their existence meaningless now..and the two mothers waited for their babies to come back home with abundant hope in their hearts!

They knew - their nests would be full again ! with laughter...and happiness all around, and forever!!